Managing extra-curricular activities

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Managing extra-curricular activities

Unread postby dofb » Mon Apr 17, 2017 7:59 am

Question to dads with more than 3 kids: How do/did you manage extracurricular activities for the children? My older two boys take music lessons at the same time and that's easily managed, but STBX and I used to tag team for sports activities. Now that I don't have that support, I am trying to figure out how to ensure that they don't miss out on sports because we cannot manage all other activities? Kiddos are 8/6/3/1.
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Re: Managing extra-curricular activities

Unread postby hoosier_dad » Mon Apr 17, 2017 8:53 am

I don't have more than 3 children but I think the recommendations will be the same.

You need to foster relationships with other parents of classmates and teammates, as well as coaches of the teams. You should also offer the ex the opportunity to transport where it makes sense, but you need to become self sufficient in having go to contacts for transportation.

I know at the time of my divorce this was a daunting concept, I'd never really fostered those kinds of relationships with other parents. I found it easiest to build up those contacts by offering to provide transportation for other children whenever possible. It's much easier to ask for help from other parents when you are already proactively offering it. Sleepovers is another big opportunity. Nothing endears you to other parents like giving them a kid-free night.
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Re: Managing extra-curricular activities

Unread postby Trevor » Mon Apr 17, 2017 6:21 pm

Think of it this way: the time they're not playing sports, they're with their Dad. Being a good parent means that you have to plan ahead the logistics and the schedule. This will involve trade-offs that everyone will have to accommodate. But in the end, time with Dad is better than picking daisies in the outfield.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Managing extra-curricular activities

Unread postby dofb » Mon Apr 17, 2017 9:25 pm

Like you said, I'll figure it out. We have a few good friends here who would help me. I am really only interested in the swim team and basketball. Swim team is during the week, requiring some logistics planning, and basketball is on weekends, which isn't really a problem.

Appreciate the advice.
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