Will I still lose custody?

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Will I still lose custody?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Apr 18, 2017 11:53 am

Chasbo wrote: If I was a judge and I saw the email your daughter wrote. I would award you sole custody. It's so obviously coached.
^^^ +1. It's clear NJ's behind this.

Taken to the next level: A sure way to end this would be for NJ to have supervised parenting time - by a court-approved supervisor (not by some friend or family member) - at NJ's expense.

Always know this: An award of primary parent must be predicated upon the parent who will encourage a meaningful and on-going relationship between the children and the other (non-custodial) parent.

For context, read this:
viewtopic.php?f=7&t=78252&p=887201&hilit=relationship#p887201

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:....."teen choice trumps everything."
^^^ Remember, this is a myth. No matter what the other side tells you, your daughters are still children. They need guidance. That's why they have parents.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
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Re: Will I still lose custody?

Unread postby kirkpatrick » Tue Apr 18, 2017 12:27 pm

grandetaco wrote:
Fatheroffour wrote:^^^^Wow, such stunningly horrible advice is pretty rare around here.


Lol, the shock route,
I will offer a twist, OP are predictable, NJ has been poisoning these young minds, you Sir need to up the ante, you have ask yourself what you are willing to do for them?

What KP is saying to redefine your image to the girls and negate image created by nj.

Remember, you will ZERO influence if you don't talk to your girls and don't get to see them. To beat nj one must elate oneself to Samurai nj!

1. Custody Evaluator: Be honest, that you were frustrated at Ds action, you want the best for your Ds and express your parenting concerns. Make you tell how sorry you are that you were frustrated. Ask for guidance on how to proceed to co-parent successfully avoid conflict.
Make sure you keep screen shots of the text sent in by D asking you to sign. Present said text to the CE person, ask if D should be involved in such negotiation by mother?

2. You lost and nj won when you lost your temper, ask how I know? nj spends every hour of the day brain washing these young minds, when they speak it is not them, it is nj. You have to have a game plan to do things, say things to reinforce your bond with them and seed ideas which negate what nj feeds them.
Take them out to a rock concert, go get your nails done with them.

First and foremost reach out to your Ds, Say how much you love them and say sorry for your actions. You have to not only mend but rebuild the bridge. It won't happen overnight, you need to be persistent.

Read what Tom posted, you should use it to go for more custody, yes, what nj is doing to the girls and damaging to them. She is putting them in the middle and not fostering love for both parents. nj is berating you to the girls.
Come up with a coherent story and work with your atty to come up with a motion.

Also include motion for reunification therapy for both girls and you.
Also include make up time..
Go on the offensive bro, you owe it to the Ds.


What else can he do??? Ask my DAD???

Tommy
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Re: Will I still lose custody?

Unread postby Chasbo » Tue Apr 18, 2017 12:49 pm

kirkpatrick wrote:What else can he do??? Ask my DAD???

Tommy



He can take responsibility for his life and be the best dad he can possibly be.

My dad was probably a 9/10 on the nutcase scale. And I judge him on that. I'm not impressed by the women he screwed, the money he made, and other the other gross ephemera we think is so important. I judge him for the one sporting event he took me to during my childhood. I judge him for not talking to me for months on end for no reason. I judge him for being a jerk to my mum.

I try to do the exact opposite. I am telling the op to be the best man and father he can possibly be. That's it. It's simple.Save the play acting and excuses for your God or your dog. When the fog clears that is all you can do.
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Re: Will I still lose custody?

Unread postby kirkpatrick » Tue Apr 18, 2017 1:28 pm

Some how he must save the day!!!
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Re: Will I still lose custody?

Unread postby pharoeandisis » Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:30 pm

lovingfatherof2 wrote:Are you saying she is asking for 4 times more than state guidelines for CS?

If she is what is her argument that justifies her asking for that?


My ex-wife is claiming $600.00 less in monthly gross income compared to when we got divorced in 2012 and my income has gone up. Based on the original child support amount from 2012, per the Colorado State Child Support Guidelines, my child support payment will be 5 times more and she's getting alimony as well. Essentially, if she gets her way, the new child support payment plus the alimony would take 2/3 of my take home pay. I'll need to work an extra job or higher paying job, sell my house, or withdraw wants left in my retirement account.

Since she's a self-employed hairdresser out-of-the-home, any cash payments is probably not reported on her taxes. Also, her operating/business expenses are way too high.
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Re: Will I still lose custody?

Unread postby pharoeandisis » Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:45 pm

grandetaco wrote:You have to put the girls first, it is emotionally challenging but put yourself in their shoes, think of the stress and pressure they are under daily from the crazy abusive nj. You have to be the rock for them and be patient.

Wake up bro, it is your JOB to show the court what is going on, it your job to make the court care. You have to construct your case in a such a way to imply that the courts judicial record is going to be tainted if the court agrees in any form to anything that nj asks for.

Again, make the girls best interest the center of your case, your pleadings show demonstrate how concerned you are and how helpless you feel. Make sure you fess up to the incident and explain it away (consult atty for strategy on this). It is always better to play the OC's hand first. In your case talking about the arm grabbing incident.

How will you explain away the arm grabbing incident? what have you done to ensure that it will not happen again? How about your D, did you reach out to her and make mends?


I'm doing many things for get a handle on my situation. I'm seeking counseling. I'm jounrnalling, I'm seeking information about Parental Alienation, I'm sending my daughters emails from various email accounts because I believed they have blocked my email and texts. I'm going to the parent/teacher conferences, I'm going to my D14 school pay, I'm giving them money for Christmas and birthdays. I'm thinking about their needs. I'm trying to find ways to project my daughters from their mother's twisted tactics. I'm trying ways to have some sort of contact with them. I would do anything to just have 1 hour with them. I want to do re-integration therapy. If their anything else I could do I would, but buying a Harley and finding a young girlfriend is not on my list of things to do.
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Re: Will I still lose custody?

Unread postby pharoeandisis » Wed Apr 19, 2017 1:53 pm

Chasbo wrote:As for making yourself the fun dad.

I actually agree with that advice. Not in the demented way posted above. Bringing random sluts around is definitely not the answer.

I drive my kids around in a convertible ( embarrassing and fun for them)projector movies, interesting controversial discussions, play sports together, paintball, etc. Stuff I enjoy and they like.


I agree with it being more fun for my daughters. In 2014, I took them to Europe for 3 weeks. I took them to see Coldplay. I take them out to eat. But I agree more fun.
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Re: Will I still lose custody?

Unread postby pharoeandisis » Wed Apr 19, 2017 2:08 pm

Chasbo wrote:If I was a judge and I saw the email your daughter wrote. I would award you sole custody. It's so obviously coached.

To me it would be so clear what is going on.

On the other hand, I teach my kids personal responsibility. At 16 and 14 they have to take some responsibility for their actions. Parental love is not just a one way street.

As for grabbing her arm. Big deal. It's making a mountain of a molehill. Apologize and move on. If they can't /won't then that is more like their issue. Kids need boundaries and that includes being reasonable and understanding you are human too.


Thank you for your post. Much appreciated. I've been trying to teach my daughters personal responsibility. Unfortunately, they don't think they should clean their rooms or clean up their mess in the kitchen. Do you know what's is like cleaning up after they make cupcakes using every kitchen utensil in house? They don't believe in consequences.

I apologized to my D16, but she won't hear it. I tried group counseling, but she won't go. I tried writing her, but she blocks my phone for any text or email messages. I stopped at her work to hand her a birthday card.

Unfortunately, my daughters have learned to disrespect me with the help from their mother. My D16 has exhibited this out-of-control behavior for the last 5 years. My other daughter is a bit more reasonable, but she fears any disapproval from her mother and showing solidarity for her older sister.

I truly believe my ex-wife has poisoned my daughters and I need to protect them. I should have never grabbed my D16 by the arm, but I did. There's no excuse.

I think about my daughters every day. I don't blame them, I blame their sick mother.
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