therapist

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

therapist

Unread postby rclv83 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:12 pm

Long story short, my ex is a complete NJ and simply digs and digs until she finds an "issue" to fight over. I'm typing this up and am a little irritated, so forgive me, but I'm just sick of it.

her latest issue is therapy for d7. She wanted a therapist after divorce, and after she did stupid stuff like making sure she meets with therapist first, changing stories, etc etc...he turned out to be a great therapist. So this past summer, the therapist implies that d7 is doing pretty good, so we all leave.

Fast forward to the past week, and now I get a cryptic email for NJ that d7 needs therapy badly, and lo and behold, she has found a new one and this one is a documented man-hater. No discussion about WHY d7 needs therapy. No discussion about picking the therapist. It's just "Here's the new therapist."

I'm sick of it.

I have already spoken to old therapist who said again, "I thought d7 was doing pretty darn good. Are you seeing something new?" Nope. So my question is: do I have to engage this whole process again? Meet with therapist, listen to NJ drivel on about a bunch of nonsense, spend thousands of dollars on the appointments, have therapist ultimately see that NJ is a NJ and then we leave. Not to mention what it puts d7 through.

I just want to wave, tell her to have some fun, and stay out of it. Any exposure here?

Specs:
Houston
d7 - EOW screwjob
Divorce final Aug '15.
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Re: therapist

Unread postby JimRockford » Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:32 pm

I'm assuming you have joint legal custody? If so, don't agree to this. If your ex wants it that badly, let her file a motion and go to court over it, then take it from there. If she has sole legal, you may be in a bit of a pickle here.
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Re: therapist

Unread postby rclv83 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:33 pm

joint legal. When I objected to the therapist, NEW therapist basically said "Dont' care what you say. NJ has the right to seek care for the child, so I'll see d7 whether you like it or not."

I'm tempted to just take d7 for periodic visits with the old therapist and just let NJ do whatever she's going to do. This game never ends unless I stop playing.
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Re: therapist

Unread postby JimRockford » Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:49 pm

rclv83 wrote:joint legal. When I objected to the therapist, NEW therapist basically said "Dont' care what you say. NJ has the right to seek care for the child, so I'll see d7 whether you like it or not.".


Unless this new therapist is also the judge in your case, I cant' see how this holds water. Even if the child does need therapy, how can this therapist state that he/she is the one to provide it unless the court orders services for that therapist.


rclv83 wrote:I'm tempted to just take d7 for periodic visits with the old therapist and just let NJ do whatever she's going to do. This game never ends unless I stop playing.


I don't think poring on the feedbag to a fee fest is the way to go, nor would I think that introducing D7 to multiple therapists with different approaches is a good option either. I would send a letter to the new therapist that you do not give your consent for treatment. Let your ex file a motion.
Last edited by JimRockford on Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: therapist

Unread postby rclv83 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:02 pm

thank you - the problem is that therapist has made it clear that she does not care that I object - d7 will attend if NJ takes her. When I spoke to her, she made it abundantly clear that NJ has the right seek psychological care of the child, and she WILL treat her if NJ takes her.

so should I just send a letter to therapist and NJ stating my reasons for objection and then stay out of it? Of course my fear is that therapist decides (having never met me) that I am the devil, and NJ uses it for ammo. Let's not forget that we already have one therapist that knows NJ is the issue and encouraged me to seek full custody (and offered to put that in writing or say it on the stand).

Again, just tired of the game here. If she wants to invest this time and money, knock yourself out?
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Re: therapist

Unread postby JimRockford » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:07 pm

You don't need to explain anything, joint legal custody means you and your ex make the decisions, not your ex and the therapist. Send a letter to the therapist (and dont' waste any stamps on NJ) that you are not consenting for you to treat D7, and that without your consent she has no legal authority to treat her. Let her know that you will report her to the State board if she does anyway.

Your ex will then have to go for a court order or back off. If she goes for a court order, I'm sure you will get plenty of advice here on how to handle that.
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Re: therapist

Unread postby Trevor » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:13 pm

Such care is often (always?) considered invasive care, which required authorization from both parents.

Have your lawyer draft the letter with appropriate language, and possibly send a copy to the appropriate governing board of the practitioner's professional affiliation.

ETA: This person is credentialed, right?
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Re: therapist

Unread postby JimRockford » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:14 pm

Actually, to expand on my last, Don't explain anything. The last thing you need is to give NJ and the therapist ammunition that they can refute. Just make it clear that you do not give consent, and what you will do if she treats her anyway. This letter should be sent certified, be not more than two paragraphs and three sentences.
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Re: therapist

Unread postby rclv83 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:18 pm

guys, thank you. HOWEVER, I think this will play out that I will have to get the order, not her.

Therapist has made it clear that she will take d7. NJ has made it clear she will take her. I can't physically STOP them. Our decree DOES state that either parent may seek medical of psychological treatment for child. Yes, there's some muddy water here as d7 already HAS a therapist, but by the letter, NJ can do this.

I'm tempted to do as you suggest: draft a letter to therapist stating my objections to treatment, cc NJ, and then get out of the way. If the therapist ever popped up later as ammo in something, I could say "Never met with her. And I objected to her way back when."
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Re: therapist

Unread postby JimRockford » Mon Mar 20, 2017 8:23 pm

rclv83 wrote:guys, thank you. HOWEVER, I think this will play out that I will have to get the order, not her.


I'm tempted to do as you suggest: draft a letter to therapist stating my objections to treatment, cc NJ, and then get out of the way. If the therapist ever popped up later as ammo in something, I could say "Never met with her. And I objected to her way back when."


If you draft such a letter, you might as well print it on toilet paper, to make it easier for the therapist to use.

How did this language about either parent being able to take the child for psychological treatment get there in the first place?
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