Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kids

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kids

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:25 pm

I wanted to start a new thread with this topic. Assuming everyone knows the details so far.

My ex informed me today that she has signed a lease and is moving in June. She is moving into the same county as my house and not more than 15 minutes from both our current townhome and my new home. She intends to take my girls with her and doesn't think there is anything I can do to stop her. I am moved back into the family home and intended to stay until a custody order was in place. Assuming an agreement is not made on Wednesday at the conciliation hearing and a trial isn't until after June, what are my options? Can she use the fact that I have another house and lived there for two months before moving back against me? I also wanted to clarify, I purchased the house when we were still together and all planning on moving here.

Should I get a temporary custody order in place in the meantime also?
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Re: Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kid

Unread postby gamingdad » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:27 pm

Along with getting a temp exclusive use of house order, have your lawyer add that the children stay in the residential home.
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Re: Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kid

Unread postby Chaos » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:41 pm

File for temp orders.
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Re: Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kid

Unread postby americandadof5 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:01 pm

You need a temporary order for everyone to abide by. This will hold you over until the final hearing. I say final because as of now, mom doesnt seem to be budging, nor does she look like she will cave on top of the court house steps come mediation/conciliation day.

Even with temp orders, you can ask for 50/50. It'll be based on the same premise of "best interest". But it doesnt have to be a long drawn out hearing, otherwise you wait a long time to even get that hearing. Something like 1 hour to 2 should be enough.

Ive tried 5 minute, 15 minute and 30 minute hearings and each judge has said that it wasnt enough time for them to determine much


**Actually getting a temp order with substantial time could turn the tables on mom in her mind
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Re: Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kid

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Mon Mar 20, 2017 6:46 pm

How quickly can this happen? I asked my lawyer to get this started, but I am concerned that I had to ask for this and that she didn't recommend I get one already. Based on this and the feedback from others on this forum, I am seriously concerned about your abilities.

My ex continues to tell me doesn't want to go to trial and wants this to end and that she doesn't have the money for this and I tell her the same thing I have always told her that my position on shared custody will not change and that I am not accepting anything less. So it seems that we are in a deadlock and I am going to continue to prepare for an eminent trial.
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Re: Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kid

Unread postby americandadof5 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 7:57 pm

2Dadwipp wrote:How quickly can this happen? I asked my lawyer to get this started, but I am concerned that I had to ask for this and that she didn't recommend I get one already. Based on this and the feedback from others on this forum, I am seriously concerned about your abilities.

My ex continues to tell me doesn't want to go to trial and wants this to end and that she doesn't have the money for this and I tell her the same thing I have always told her that my position on shared custody will not change and that I am not accepting anything less. So it seems that we are in a deadlock and I am going to continue to prepare for an eminent trial.


If she doesnt want to take it to trial then tell her to sit with you and sign an agreed order of parental time sharing and responsibility. If it aint 50/50 then tell her to kick rocks and you'll see her in court.

How fast can you get a temp order? It depends on the case load of your court and how long you try to set the hearing for because itll come down to where they can fit you in on the calendar. I would recommend a minimum of an hour for the temp custody hearing. You want enough time to cover the basics of best interest.
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Re: Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kid

Unread postby astrolink » Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:17 pm

2Dadwipp wrote:How quickly can this happen? I asked my lawyer to get this started, but I am concerned that I had to ask for this and that she didn't recommend I get one already..



Time for a new, preferably male attorney.

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Re: Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kid

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Mar 20, 2017 10:42 pm

2Dadwipp wrote:I was the one who filed for custody because when we split, she gave me no access to them until the court papers arrived.
What's the status of your case?? Have you got temporary orders from family court??.....or from ex parte?? At a minimum, here's what you want:

1) Exclusive use and occupancy of the marital home.

2) The children's residence of record (ostensibly for school purposes) shall be the marital residence. That'll make you primary parent.

3) 50/50 parenting plan; 7/7.

Here's the deal: A temporary order from ex parte will fill the gap between now and the time you see the family court judge - which could be many weeks.

2Dadwipp wrote: I asked my lawyer to get this started, but I am concerned that I had to ask for this and that she didn't recommend I get one already. Based on this and the feedback from others on this forum, I am seriously concerned about her abilities.
Big red flag. It's not her abilities that should worry you. It's her willingness - or lack thereof.

This is why it's absolutely critical that you manage your case personally and proactively - from cradle to grave. Because when you do, you are much better able to manage your attorney.

Speaking of attorney, have you got a back up?? Always have a Plan-B for everything.

You need to light a fire under your attorney's a_ss. And while you're doing that, you need to find another attorney. In this game, it's called multi-tasking. And it goes with the territory.

Have you read The List?? It's important that you do.

http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=13374

Pay extra close attention to Steps 6 & 7: especially getting temporary orders from ex parte.

Tom
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Re: Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kid

Unread postby RockyCali » Tue Mar 21, 2017 1:10 am

And you need to come up with an elevator speech to address your other home. Short, sweet, to the point. Not defensive. Factual.

The elevator just started moving from the 2nd floor to the 1st. Your time is up when the chime sounds on the 1st floor. Go.
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Re: Ex signed a lease and wants to move out and take the kid

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Tue Mar 21, 2017 1:10 am

Tom,

The status to date. We are scheduled for court conciliation on Wednesday. The mediation last month accomplished nothing other than me learning that she didn't have an attorney and knew nothing about how this process worked. It also prompted her to hire an attorney the following day. Currently no temp order in place and the cause for my greatest concern with my current attorney. Why she didn't proactively get one already? Why she didn't depose my ex either?

I have surprised my attorney with requests that have been learned on this forum from the fellas here. She has agreed to depose my ex and get a temporary order. She agreed to request 50/50 and litigate if they don't accept. Originally she told me that if we don't get it, but get something close to accept it. Red flag learned here. I never told her that I was concerned with money and that I wanted to avoid a trial. Although before I joined this forum I didn't challenge her or know how to make her work for me. I only told her that I want my kids, please help.

Her strategy seemed to be to take whatever my ex was willing to give to show a pattern of denying access and a lack of supporting a relationship with the other parent. Keep paying those bills in the meantime to show your a responsible father. The ex provided many instances of denying access and taking away time as a way to punish me until she hired a lawyer. After she retained him, she began offering more time and continues to offer more time.

I have read the list and reference it frequently to develop and prepare. I will start working a plan B and begin interviewing attorneys tomorrow. Wednesday my lawyer needs to deliver on my requests or I will make a switch.
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