Ex-Wife refuses to negotiate

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Ex-Wife refuses to negotiate

Unread postby pharoeandisis » Mon Mar 20, 2017 3:55 pm

My ex-wife is enabling my teenage daughters to stay with her because my old daughter and I have arguments about chores and responsibilities. Unfortunately, in the last argument I grabbed her by the arm to get her out of the car and escorted her into the house. As a result, she got upset, started to cry, ran into the bathroom and called her mother. I also yelled at her for blaming others about loosing track of her stuff. Anyway, my ex-wife took my daughter to the police station and contacted Child Protective Services to file a report. CPS closed the case and never followed-up with me, i.e., no investigation.

Now, my ex-wife wants more than half of my take home pay for child support (going from $200 to $1,000 per month) and 100% custody. In the meantime, I've been trying multiple things to deal with the situation. Including seeking therapy and attempting to set-up group therapy with myself and my daughters, but they don't want to go. And my ex-wife only wants to do what my oldest daughter wants.

I've hired an attorney, but it appears that this is going to court. I'm not trying to trivialize the situation, but it's become way over-blown. My ex-wife and her support, i.e., attorney and friends are probably encouraging her. Yet I haven't seen my daughter nor have an opportunity to reconcile. My ex-wife wants a lot more child supported based under reported income. Most of her income is done in cash.

Does anyone have any wisdom to share?

Thank you, Patrick
pharoeandisis
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Re: Ex-Wife refuses to negotiate

Unread postby americandadof5 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 5:35 pm

to go from $200 to $1000?

What does your divorce order say about it? Has she taken any court action yet to pursue either the time or money?

How long have your daughter(s) been with their mother vs you since the event?
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Re: Ex-Wife refuses to negotiate

Unread postby pharoeandisis » Tue Mar 21, 2017 8:51 am

My ex-wife only submitted a motion to modify after I submitted a motion to enforce parenting-time. It's been since October of last year. In the meantime, I've tried varies ways of re-gaining parenting time. We attempted family therapy but my daughter didn't feel comfortable with the timeline for meeting with the therapist in a group session, i.e., my 2 daughters and myself to reconciliation and resolution. I believe my ex-wife suffers from BPD and my oldest daughter feels the need to please her mother meanwhile encouraging and enabling my daughters to stay. Despite the divorce decree, my ex-wife is also disparaging me to the kids and providing them with details of the custody battle. For example, my youngest daughter sent me a text asking me to sign the custody papers and pay her mother more child support, and then she would spend time with me and my family.

My ex-wife has also alienated her own mother. Recently, her mother told me that she wished her daughter (my ex-wife) was never born. My ex-wife thinks it's ok to alienate the people that mean the most. While married to her, she attempted to get me to alienate my family and withhold the kids from their grandparents. This sort of behavior continues to this day.

Today, I'm going to ask my attorney to be more aggressive about obtaining my ex-wife's financial records. Based on my conservative analysis of her monthly living expenses vs. amounts indicated on her 2016 tax return, she's off by at least $1,300 per month. Also her tax return is filled with errors and omissions based on self-employment expenses. A normal business could not operate like hers, unless cash payments from her clients are not being reported.
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Re: Ex-Wife refuses to negotiate

Unread postby RockyCali » Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:22 pm

You can often get financials in discovery. Be diligent in going through them, but be aware that the same level of scrutiny is probably being used on you. Mine was a pretty exhausting process, but I did my homework when I got the documents and was able to show that my ex gets a ton of money from her extended family. That doesn't affect any calculators for support purposes, but it did show that her cries of being nearly kicked to the curb are far from accurate. My attorney did a good job of muddying the waters on this. Set the nail into an issue and tapped it a couple times, but didn't hammer it flush with the board. It kept my ex on her toes.

Also remember: the courts are not the IRS. You're not going to get the court to slap her hand for making mistakes on her taxes.
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