Preparing children for Sleeping at both households

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Preparing children for Sleeping at both households

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Sat Mar 18, 2017 5:21 pm

The second that I read the deposition response post, I stopped reading and emailed my lawyer to make this happen. I can't tell you enough how thankful I am for finding the fellas in this forum. I have trusted my lawyer and do my best to make informed decisions but I knew nothing at all about what I was getting into when I hired her but I did a lot of research and my research found this forum. And now I am learning and better off.

After I sent her the email, I read the rest of your posts.

Massdad1234 - What else do I need to make sure my lawyer keeps working for me in the best way or when do I find a new one. As my employee, I need to be a smart boss to make her effective, and I am still learning. I am on this forum reading and learning more hours than I care to admit at this point so I am willing to devote any and everything to this cause.

And I don't need to hear about the opinions on who or how my ex is getting banged out by dudes. And if its happening in my home. Its not something I like to think about but when you bring it up. I cant help think, I bet she is disappointed that dude can't do it like I did. Then she is disappointed, haha, In all seriousness it doesn't bother me. Not offended. But...

Lawyer just emailed me back and said "I will try to speak to her lawyer before, if I can't, she will disclose that during the court conciliation session. You each say what you are seeking"

Should I be worried about those comments from her?

Thoughts?
Last edited by 2Dadwipp on Sat Mar 18, 2017 5:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Preparing children for Sleeping at both households

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Sat Mar 18, 2017 5:34 pm

And the family home, it is currently the townhouse that is rented and the lease is up in June. Its too expensive.

My new home is mortgaged, nicer, less expensive and bedrooms for each child. Before we split, my ex and I were going here.

The ex is adamantly telling me that she is moving out before June. I will stay in this home as long as it takes but I can't ditch the home I mortgaged realistically so what other options do I have? I will stay in current home as long as it takes, ex says she will be out soon.
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Re: Preparing children for Sleeping at both households

Unread postby americandadof5 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 6:27 pm

2Dadwipp wrote:And the family home, it is currently the townhouse that is rented and the lease is up in June. Its too expensive.

My new home is mortgaged, nicer, less expensive and bedrooms for each child. Before we split, my ex and I were going here.

The ex is adamantly telling me that she is moving out before June. I will stay in this home as long as it takes but I can't ditch the home I mortgaged realistically so what other options do I have? I will stay in current home as long as it takes, ex says she will be out soon.


ride it out as long as you can. Dont give up home base. June is enough time to get things to a final hearing but this does depend on your courts docket load. Just go ahead and set a trial date after conciliation. While you wait for the date to arrive, you depose her <donkey> and even serve written interrogatories requests. Keep the pressure up
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Re: Preparing children for Sleeping at both households

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:04 pm

Lawyer just emailed me back and said "I will try to speak to her lawyer before, if I can't, she will disclose that during the court conciliation session. You each say what you are seeking"
This is not a litigator. We know what the mother is seeking - total control with EOW for you.

Your deposition is not about what the mother is seeking, it's about why. She says experts think young children should be with their mother - that's a why. In trial, she will now have to prove experts actually say that - with an expert. You need the *why* to challenge the mother, not what she is seeking.

And Mr. Wonderful is not about you, it's about making the mother squirm in the witness stand - it is a point of discomfort that might cause the mother to . . . be more agreeable, if you know what I mean.

Here's how I would see this going. You do the mediation with this attorney, politely disregard anything less than 50/50, and when the mediation session has met the time required, you leave - instructing your attorney to depose the mother within the month. Determine if your attorney is a litigator based on the appearance at the mediation - if your attorney leans on you to settle for less than 50/50, bye-bye.
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Re: Preparing children for Sleeping at both households

Unread postby massdad1234 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:51 pm

You are missing the point. it isn't about trying to rub it in your face that your ex is banging some one else, it is to remind you that she doesn't and hasn't had your best interests at heart. You are making the mistake of thinking.... "my soon to be ex would never [blank]". She has probably toyed with the idea way longer than you think. You also just recently grew a sack and started reversing the trend of you p+footing around. She is used to getting you to do exactly what you want and you still do it.

"hey, take the kids away for the night"
"ok"
instead of telling her that you will watch the kids here and she can can go wherever


"i'm taking our kids away for the weekend"
"ok"
instead of saying, have fun with your friends, the kids and I will see you when you get back.

RE: Your lawyer: Her response is a red flag to me "i'll try to?" WTF? This is 2017, there are multiple ways to get in touch with people, there is no trying, there is doing.

I think Bart was on to something before, you probably shouldn't have a woman laywer. Not that they can't breath fire, but it feels like you are just come across as passive whenever a female is involved. Remember the question, are you ready to get your hands dirty? You are paying for an employee, if you say you want something done, it should be done, not if/try/see what I can do.

You need to stand up and grab this by the horns. You're getting tough love because you are behind the eight ball, especially because you think my STBX would never......
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Re: Preparing children for Sleeping at both households

Unread postby Havalu7 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 8:22 pm

Oh boy!

Don't seem to remember that you bought another house? Okay?
So thought you said a few threads ago that you had a lease on the other place?
Hmmmmm.
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Re: Preparing children for Sleeping at both households

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Sun Mar 19, 2017 2:34 am

The townhouse is a rental, lease is up in June. Too expensive to stay long term I will be going month to month after that.
The new house I mortgaged so I need to end up there. I don't feel like anyone is rubbing things in my face. I have no problem with tough love. I'm hear because I want people to tell it like it is.

I have concerns about my lawyer after some to the comments from others. When do I know if its time to get a new one or if 'I can get her to work better for me? I'll take the advice from the fellas on this forum and get my lawyer to do what I need and access her more closely. She assures me we are not settling for anything less than 50/50.
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Re: Preparing children for Sleeping at both households

Unread postby Me_and_my_boys » Sun Mar 19, 2017 8:43 am

2Dadwipp wrote:When do I know if its time to get a new one or if 'I can get her to work better for me?


BartSimpson wrote:Determine if your attorney is a litigator based on the appearance at the mediation - if your attorney leans on you to settle for less than 50/50, bye-bye.
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