When to call CPS

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

When to call CPS

Unread postby sqlbird » Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:12 pm

I was informed by email by my ex that my son (5) was offered a prize by a neighbor boy (13) if my son touched his penis. She said she talked to the neighbors and they stated they didn't know why their son would have done that. She stated that the neighbor boy would not be around the children for an extended period of time. Should I call CPS? My gut tells me yes. My son has never mentioned anything like this before and I don't know if something really happened with the neighbor or if there might be some other kind of abuse occurring and he is acting out as a result.


Additionally my ex moved her boyfriend and his son (12) in the house about 9 months and I am extremely wary of what is going on at the house. I have two other children at the house as well. I split parenting time 50/50 with my ex.
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Re: When to call CPS

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Mar 14, 2017 2:01 pm

sqlbird wrote:Should I call CPS?
You need to say something to somebody, Bro. S5 is counting on you.

If you call CPS, they may do nothing. In your shoes, I'd file a police report. Police are mandatory reporters. The report will reach CPS.

Be sure to get a copy of the police report. Document everything in your journal. Be sure to follow thru with everybody you talk to; collect names, badge numbers, and business cards. If police don't write a report, be sure to get an incident number.

Keep asking hard questions. Don't back down.

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Re: When to call CPS

Unread postby RockyCali » Tue Mar 14, 2017 2:44 pm

I would keep my antennae up, but also be clear where appropriate that you are including ex in the report but not accusing her of anything unseemly or salacious.

Don't know how high the level of trust is between you and her, but make it clear that you are filing on behalf of your son, not to be vindictive toward an ex-spouse. Including the fact that she notified you in writing of the incident.
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Re: When to call CPS

Unread postby sqlbird » Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:35 pm

Trust level between us is low. The divorce was costly and ugly. I'm thinking if I do file a report I will do so when the children are with me for 5 continuous days starting tomorrow rather than tonight when they are with her. She has pulled funny business with custody in the past and I'd like to not repeat that mistake, plus I want to hear what happened directly from my children.
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Re: When to call CPS

Unread postby Havalu7 » Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:47 pm

Bro you may be in trouble if you DON'T file a police report since you know this occurred or was alleged to have occurred.

I am not a police officer, attorney or a judge; but I have always went by the saying that "Its better to tell someone WHY you did something versus why you didn't."

Do you really want someone asking you why you did nothing about this allegation?
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Re: When to call CPS

Unread postby RC411V » Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:48 pm

My personal philosophy is to always let a mandatory reporter make the decision. Does your kid have any kind of counselor, at school or private? Would they be open and honest to their pediatrician? Do you happen to know a police officer or social worker who your kid would talk with and it wouldn't be some kind of conflict of interest?

In other words, do you know anybody you and your kid trust that you can go to instead of directly starting an investigation? That is what I've done before and it has worked best for me.

Your kid is only 5 so he may not be as articulate as might be desired but the other kid being that much older... seems an automatic mental alert.
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Re: When to call CPS

Unread postby sqlbird » Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:01 pm

RC411V wrote:My personal philosophy is to always let a mandatory reporter make the decision. Does your kid have any kind of counselor, at school or private? Would they be open and honest to their pediatrician? Do you happen to know a police officer or social worker who your kid would talk with and it wouldn't be some kind of conflict of interest?

In other words, do you know anybody you and your kid trust that you can go to instead of directly starting an investigation? That is what I've done before and it has worked best for me.

Your kid is only 5 so he may not be as articulate as might be desired but the other kid being that much older... seems an automatic mental alert.



Well he told his mother and his sister, no one is disputing the fact that the neighbor boy (13) said this to my son (5). He's fairly articulate. He doesn't really have a counselor at his pre school or anything.
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Re: When to call CPS

Unread postby RockyCali » Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:45 pm

The potential harm in filing a report that ends up being unfounded is much lower than a perceived benefit in failing to report something that might be true. You think the 13 year old's parents would say "oh yes, Timmy does that all the time."?
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Re: When to call CPS

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:15 pm

Hearsay. What is the mother going to do, aside from tug on your leash to make you do tricks?

Wonder if it really was the bf or his kid that touched him? With all of them dumped into a sexualized environment where the kids' parents are banging in the next room? [Rhet.]
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Re: When to call CPS

Unread postby sqlbird » Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:36 pm

so police or CPS? I'm definitely going to contact one or the other.
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