Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:Don't file anything until you've established 50/50 status quo for at least 6 months. To help solidify this, you should be keeping a well-written journal and parenting time tracker. As you build your case, maintain radio silence. The last thing you need to do is tip her off.
Read this thread on what not to do:
In this case, OP moved closer to be with his children. But instead of establishing 6 month's status quo, he filed soon after he moved. The moment she got served, his ex immediately reverted back to the terms of the decree. You hafta guard against that by filing an Injunction in ex parte. To get a better idea, read Steps 6 & 7 in The List.
Remember, radio silence is an integral part of your game plan.
BTW - This falls within the category of de facto custody, but with a twist; you're living together. That means you could get child support stopped altogether. But I would hold off on that 'til you've established 50/50 status quo for a minimum of 6 mos. Because if she walks out after 6 mos, you can successfully argue in court for 50/50 and likely get it. But if she walks out before 6 mos, you're stuck with the parenting plan you've got. I trust this makes sense.
California's a 50/50 state. But with 30% parenting time, I assume you weren't married to this woman.
Why did you settle for 30%??
Specifically, what did the DV Shelter make her do?? This is critical info for the newbie.sencha19 wrote:Ex told me all the stuff the shelter made her do.
The judge had little choice. Undoubtedly, he was under political pressure from the DV Shelter.sencha19 wrote:At the last settlement conference, I had about 30% and the judge insisted he would not award me more time so quickly.
Your ex will do what she's gonna do. Because no matter what you do, it's gonna be wrong. And that's why, when you file for decree modification in family court, in order to maintain the status quo you currently enjoy, you immediately go to ex parte and get an Injunction (among a list of other things). That way, she can't revert back to the terms of the original parenting plan.sencha19 wrote:I am a little concerned what ex would do if and when I do file the ex parte and get an order in my favor.
That's why it's important that you file before she moves out. But before you file, there's an important strategy as to what you file and when. For example:sencha19 wrote:When she moves out can she ask the court for me to pay CS again?
1) If she's collecting welfare, do the welfare folks know you exist??sencha19 wrote:.....she has been on welfare (wic, ebt and medicaid) since our divorce and only works part time.
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