Shared custody for a recovery Alcoholic

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Shared custody for a recovery Alcoholic

Unread postby Havalu7 » Mon Mar 27, 2017 6:08 pm

Howzit going OP?
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Re: Shared custody for a recovery Alcoholic

Unread postby InTheRightFight » Tue Mar 28, 2017 12:58 am

We had the conciliation hearing yesterday, and my ex did exactly what she told me she would and lied right to the conciliator telling stories of me being intoxicated in front of the children on many occasions and that I was drinking and using drugs all of the time with little or no clean time. She told them that I was doing OxyCoton, perkocets , xanex and cocaine, she mentioned several drugs and I don't do any of them. The only thing a do is smoke pot with her on a few occasions and she didn't even mention that drug. Either the conciliator thought that I was the one who wasn't being truthful or she doubted me enough to recommend Sole Physical custody to her and give me only EOW and < parenting time > on Tuesdays and Thursdays with stipulations that I need notes from my Dr's on a monthly basis stating my treatment and compliance to it, as well as opinion on weather or not I am capable of taking care of children safely. I have to submit to random Drug and Alcohol testing and get evaluated by someone.

It was one sided from the moment I walked in. My lawyer did little to challenge her and when I attempted to call her out on it and ask why she wasn't being truthful, I was silenced for talking out of turn. My ex and her lawyer tried to make me have zero sleepovers and supervised < parenting time > only. The conciliator told me that I was getting a break because she believed I was sincere when I talked about me child and recommended what she did.

Keep in mind, my ex knows with 100% certainty that I am neither a danger to their safety, or incapable of caring for them alone but she felt no remorse as she lied her way to effectively try to remove me from the picture.

I have read a lot posts on this forum and it blows my mind how common it is for woman to lie in court to try to remove a father from his children. They see no problem in separating children from their fathers out of revenge or anger? With little or no remorse. The effects on her own children don't outweigh the need to hurt and punish the men whom they no longer want in their lives. Not until it happened to me and I witnessed from personal experience and by coming to this forum could I imagine just how many woman are capable of this? This seems to be normal behavior and when a woman is honest and understanding that the fathers role matters that is the exception.c

I guess the temporary order is going to be what was recommended because we didn't agree and my attorney said I would know in a few days. She had succeeded so far and I don't know how long I am going to be subject to all these stipulations in order to build trust and a track record of sobriety that they are looking for when it looks like I am starting off with nothing and my current 9 months isn't going to be considered.

Can I offer to take a hair follicle test and make her take one also? The only thing that will show up is pot and that will show up in her hair too? Would something like this even help?
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Re: Shared custody for a recovery Alcoholic

Unread postby Havalu7 » Mon Apr 03, 2017 3:58 pm

OP not sure on the legal questions as I will differ to others here.

But why are you smoking pot with her legal or not.

If someone not on a phone could insert the Bob Newhart "Stop It" video clip here that would be awesome.

Better yet OP look it up on the net.
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Re: Shared custody for a recovery Alcoholic

Unread postby InTheRightFight » Tue Apr 04, 2017 12:32 am

I don't smoke pot currently with her. But being honest, we have smoked pot togethe a few months before we split up. It was a recreational thing that we did occasionally as a couple. Its been a long time but I don't know how long that shows up for
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Re: Shared custody for a recovery Alcoholic

Unread postby TeamAwesome » Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:19 am

Don't worry about the pot a few months ago. Rule of thumb, if you have to do a hair follicle, so does she. Works in your favor...

A) You don't pop for all the other drugs she claims you abuse = win for you.

B) You both pop for MaryJane. How can she complain about a relatively harmless substance when she indulges as well.

If I were you I'd be pushing for the test, if only to come back negative on all the other drugs she claims you use.
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Re: Shared custody for a recovery Alcoholic

Unread postby Havalu7 » Thu Apr 13, 2017 10:02 am

OP have you checked in to any Smart or any other recovery meetings?

Got a friend in one of those programs whom you can confide in and be held accountable too?

Remember you don't have to get totally immersed in any program just like you don't order every item on the menu every time you go; however you do have to go somewhere to see a menu and get fed. Take what you like and leave the rest.

What is happening with your sober self?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw
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