InTheRightFight wrote:I have been sober just about 9 months now and I have no cravings or desire to drink at all. My ex is planning on this type of attack against my character. I know this because she has told me and others that this is the reason she is seeking full custody.
She is going to claim that she believes I am still drinking and have manipulated the system and everyone around me. Including her, my therapist, my psychiatrist and family.
She is going to also claim that my mental illness is a factor in the child's safety and I should not be allowed overnights.
I was diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder along time ago and have been successfully taking medication for a long time.
The reason why this is so upsetting is because she knows that neither the Bi polar diagnoses or my previous issues with alcohol has ever had any effect on the child. But she knows that this is her only defense to get the custody she wants.
My therapist has seen both of us on many occasions and the therapist believers that my ex is suffering from either post par dome depression or a hormone imbalance because her feelings and actions came out of the blue. My ex has never once mentioned my mental illness or alcohol problems as effecting my parenting. She has only said how great of a father I am.
My therapist will testify if asked. She will testify based on her notes and this should help.
She claims that she has a receipt for a bar using my credit card. Now this bar receipt is from a restaurant that has a separate take out beer store as well as a bar. It has three names but all one business. confused? I ordered take out food from the restaurant called Frank's Pizza. The Fox Hunt Tavern is a separate building next door with the same owner. It shows up on a credit card receipt as the taverns name. That is the only thing she has but I didn't visit the tavern I order a pizza for delivery.
Here is how you need to think, think like the Judge, who has less than 5 minutes to make a decision, so you need to nail it in the pleadings.
1. Admit you had an issue with alcohol - but show how you have turn things around and reached out for help. But very subtly implicate her - tell a story about how you guys were young and both of like to party and drink. You realized that you needed help and you did what you had to do.
2. Call her out - tell the court how you are trying your best to be super dad and work with nj but is engaging in venomous litigation against you. Then tell the court that you are still trying your best to work with her to be great parents. She is not supportive of you being an involved dad.
You need to mention how concerned you are about her and her post partum issues. You need to say you are and were concerned about her safety and the child's safety and asked her many times to get help for her deep post partum issues. But she refuses. Quote some of the stuff she says and does which are indicative of post partum [you need to read up on the topic and write exactly how the symptoms are detailed].
3. Fall back - This is very important, show the court that you have an on going relationship with a therapist and which shows that you have an avenue for support if you ever get the urge again.
4. Think of other stuff you could do make you look like the poster child super dad and that will put her on the defensive.
5. Explain things away - The Bar/Restaurant receipt don't mean shite, think if you really wanted to hide and drink you could have paid in cash.
In all, this is flipping Family Court, the truth has no place here, if you scream what is true in court, you will look like an unreasonable, controlling, abusive dad who likes to drink tequila all day with muy caliente mamacitas.
You need to come up to a coherent, plausible story, in which you are the victim, trying to save your nj and child. Then back that story up with all the stuff you are doing witih the experts like your therapist.
You main aim in your initial pleading is not go out and make wild accusations but strongly beat your own drum and seed thoughts about your krazy ex in the judge's head.
Then add more to that later with "Here we go again your honor, ......."
“A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.”