Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby americandadof5 » Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:18 pm

As an IT professional, i recommend you make your password 16+ characters long
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:08 pm

Her friend in DC is a girl that we all went to high school with. She never knew my password. The problem was that the ipad was connected to my Gmail account so when ever google was opened on that IPad my Gmail was accessible without having to input the password. It was my daughters IPad and I must have opened my Gmail on that device at one point and saved the password. I never use that device and forgot all about it until a month into her accessing it. I bet she found out she could do that by pure luck.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby Texas3Step » Mon Mar 13, 2017 11:18 pm

What the hell are you doing on Match right now?
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby JimRockford » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:02 am

You have got more than enough on your plate right now. While it may seem like a good idea to get out there and meet someone and potentially have a sounding board, now is not the time, and that is on so many levels:

1. The distraction and initial feeling of bliss from a new relationship, can keep your mind off of this one, but can also keep your mind off of the tasks at hand.

2. You think that she is tough to deal with now? That will be nothing compared to what will happen when she gets a whiff that you are seeing someone else.

3. The new girl, or "cupcake" as is commonly referred to on this site, will inevitably have demands of her own. Those demands are very likely not going to be compatible with what you are capable of right now.

4. Many of what you are going to meet out there are also going to be train wrecks. You need to maintain focus and be able to walk away from something like that, and in your current state that might not be so easy.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:16 am

I am not on Match. I did set up a profile late one night a few weeks ago when I was feeling particularly weak thinking about my ex and trying to find a way to take my mind off of her. I realized right away that this was not going to help and that I wasn't interesting in dating anyone or complicating things so I shut the profile down a day later.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Mar 14, 2017 7:04 am

So now you know why the forum advocates not getting entangled with another women so soon. Your soon to be ex appears to be a poster child for why. She is probably pissed because she thought she was wearing the pants, but regardless, WHO CARES WHAT SHE THINKS? You are divorcing her and her well being is no longer your concern.

Find something else to do with th kids while she is around. You don't need her permission to do something with them. Otherwise, make sure your recorder is on 24/7 and capture this behaviour in your journal. If she continues to antagonize, bring your thoughts and ideas to the group.

I suspect, she might lose steam after a week or so, as I'm guessing before all she had to do was to lean on you and you would capitulate? Never again. This isn't the person you married, you don't care what she thinks, and who cares if she read your email? Stick to your plan and stay on task.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 8:04 pm

Broham how is it going?
”Even a word is an action.” Vaclav Havel
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:37 pm

As we are getting closer to the conciliation hearing my ex told me that she will not agree to any shared custody arrangements that give us equal or close to equal overnights. I offered her, through our lawyers a 2/2/3/2/2 plan and also one that gave me 5 out of 14 overnights with every other weekend and some nights during the week. She disagreed to both of these and told me the only plan she will agree to is one where the children sleepover every other weekend only and < parenting time > during the week for dinner and drop off my 8:30pm. They wouldn’t get dropped off to me until 6:15pm with our current work schedule.
She claims that children need to spend most nights in their own beds and house, meaning hers. She thinks that stability and routine are more important equal time with both parents. She tells me that because of her professional experience teaching pre-kindergarten for 16 years and being well educated in psychological, cognitive, social and emotional needs of young children she is more equipped to know what is their best interest then the court system.
Obviously I do not agree with this logic, but I have some questions.
Would her lawyer not have advised her of how the courts handle child custody and that they will try to award equal parenting when both parents are stable, loving and have been present in the children’s lives.
Will the court appointed lawyer assigned to the conciliation also tell her what recommendations the judge will most likely make in this situation?
Basically, I am wondering if anyone will advise her of the things that I have been told and learned with regards to how child custody is handled and what the courts view as Best interest of the child because she seems to have no clue that the courts award shared custody and try to give equal parenting time whenever possible.
She also always tells me that she does not want to go to trial and wants to end this as soon as possible so we spend as little money as possible on the lawyers. But she won’t come to a reasonable agreement and has unrealistic expectations on how much time I am supposed to accept.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:44 pm

stop taking advice from your soon to be ex. What is in the best interest of the children is equal access to both parents. She sounds like a major gate keeper. You NEED to ensure you have your DVR running 24/7 around her. She is messing with you and trying to get you to fall on your sword.

Stop talking to your soon to be ex about the divorce. If she won't accept it now, you need to be prepared to take this all the way to the judge and get her to show why all of a sudden (which is why you had to move back in to reestablish status quo) it isn't in the kids best interest to have equal access to both parents. Plain and simple, you need to be ready to die on this hill.

Also, you need to start tuning your don't give a fark meter. When the soon to be ex start's railing on thinking only she can decide what is best for the children, you just need to gloss over and smile. You aren't going to convince her by grovling to her. You need to keep your lips shut and prepare for trial. More than likely it won't go, but you need to be prepared. You can't just get your gonads back in one day, you need to do it day in and day out.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby americandadof5 » Thu Mar 16, 2017 8:54 pm

She wants to avoid court because she knows that you could very well indeed end up with a 50/50 or close to it split.

The mediator/conciliation lawyer should not give advice, but mine listened to mom and her lawyer and told me (while they were on mute; telephonic appearance) that what they were offering was not reasonable.

Shes made it obvious that she only wants it her way but it isnt up to her as long as you continue to fight for what is in your childs best interest. Stop trying to figure out why she thinks one way vs the other. She is not who you thought she was, plain and simple.Stop listening to her because she cannot be the expert witness in her own trial.
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