I'm going to tell you the same thing that I told my husband when he was going through this exact same thing.
If mom isn't willing to work on a fair and equal parenting plan and all she wants you to have is the basic standard time with the kids then you have ZERO to lose by taking it all the way to trial. You are going to get the standard basic parenting time either way and by going to trial you may (and probably will) get more.
Please do not trust your children's mom right now. She is manipulating you by telling you you are hurting your children by wanting to be an equal parent. How does that even make sense?
Please take the experience of all of us on this board to heart. We are not here to encourage dads to do something that will damage their children. Many of us have been lucky enough to see the incredible benefit that equal parenting has for children and that is what we are here to encourage and help Dads fight for.
Mom, stepmom, and grandma in OH.