Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:25 pm

I am recently separated from my children's mother and still in the process of establishing a custody arrangement. I was the one who filed for custody because when we split, she gave me no access to them until the court papers arrived. Since then she is in total control of how and when I can see them and doesn't allow me any real time to bond with them by doing all the things I did with them since birth like putting them to bed, waking up with them, feeding breakfast et. She only recently started letting them come to my home after school two days a week and I sometimes have time to give them a quick bath but must drop them off after only a few hours.

I am a loving and involved father of two young girls. 5 and 18 months seeking shared legal and physical. My problem is that she does not feel that the children should sleepover at my house. She thinks that it is not good for them and their routine and that I should be satisfied with visits limited to days without spending the night. There is no abuse or concerns about my parenting ability and my home is ready for them.

There are a lot of mixed opinions on this topic with experts claiming that is not good for development to take them away from the mother because she is the primary parent for children to develop a close bond and fathers are secondary. These experts claim that removing them from the primary home will create brain development issues as well as separation anxiety among other things. I totally disagree with this but I am not expert, just a father who loves his children and is desperately missing those critical bonding moments that I had when I was living with them.

Also my oldest daughter originally wanted to sleep at my house but no longer does. She claims the reason is that she will miss her mother. I don't want to force her and want her to enjoy sleepovers and not feel like she has to. Her mother wants no parts of them sleeping at my house and is fighting me on this.

Any fathers with young children experience this and what is the best thing to do? I know the court will award sleepovers with me but I don't want that to come at the expense of my children's well being and I don't want the to recent me for sleeping at my house.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:29 pm

Oh dear. You made a mistake moving out of the home without a custody order. You might not like this, but you need to move back into the home; I'm an expert and I'm telling you what those other experts say is garbage, but it's going to stick if you don't move back into the home.

What State do you reside in?
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Sat Mar 11, 2017 7:46 pm

Moving back in is not an option as I was forced to move out by my ex. She kicked me out after months of arguments. She was the one who initiated the breakup. We live in PA. She has also denied access on several occasions since then when she becomes upset with me she takes away parenting time. I have continued to pay all of the finances at our old home, her current home and still pay child care even through no child support has been established.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby Me_and_my_boys » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:19 pm

You say you filed for custody, yet the mother continues to make unilateral decisions regarding parenting time. This needs clarification.

Do you have an attorney?
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:22 pm

How did she kick you out of your own home?
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby 2Dadwipp » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:33 pm

After I was forced to leave, she got upset when my daughter told her how nice her new room was and she told me that I couldn't see or speak to them without a court or and threatened to call the police if I tried. This went on for three days before I met with a lawyer and filed the petition for custody. After she found out that I filed she began allowing me 2 visits a week at our old home with her supervision. She wouldn't allow me to take them to my home or leave the house in the beginning. This did not work because we kept arguing in front of them. 3 weeks ago she started letting them come to my home 2 nights a week for 3 hours and Sunday all day. No sleepovers.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sat Mar 11, 2017 8:59 pm

Sir, why is she in charge of the children?

How were you forced to leave?
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Sat Mar 11, 2017 9:05 pm

Why isnt she the one asking you for time with the kids?

You've let her be in charge. Why not stop?
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby Texas3Step » Sat Mar 11, 2017 9:24 pm

2Dad, I know this is all hard to hear but trust me when I say you need to hear it.

These fine gentlemen are trying to help you, not criticize you. And frankly, you deserve to be criticized for just laying down to her. Stand up, be a man and start fighting for your children. They need you to be strong. You need to hear this.
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Re: Sleepovers at Dads after separtation

Unread postby americandadof5 » Sat Mar 11, 2017 10:48 pm

were you two married?
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