How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby big guy » Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:34 am

I am getting nailed with accusations on every front by the ex. We do need to communicate about a few things that are important yet she tells me to only contact her through my lawyer. Not doing that. D is over 18, but there are a number of things she is squawking about. Too bad that in the end she is only punishing the girl.
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Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Mar 14, 2017 11:38 am

What are you doing to insulate yourself and the D18 from this stuff? How soon until emancipation?
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Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby Chaos » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:15 pm

What do you still have to communicate about?
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby afc » Tue Mar 14, 2017 12:22 pm

+1

What could you have to talk about? Your daughter is 18. Talk of her welfare should be done with her.
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Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby big guy » Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:18 pm

The ex and the D have been arranging all of the weekends when D goes to visit mom for some time now. For the most part it works out fine. All of a sudden the ex is going off that I am not in compliance and have never been when it come to setting up a calendar. It's a part of a long list she is bringing up now and most of these are things are stuff that were not an issue until now. Other things were. From what I gather from the D, things are getting a bit intense with mom and her the closer graduation gets.

A few things that I have learned: never ever let her know of vacation or special weekend plans in advance. The ex will do whatever it takes to prevent them. When the girl is three hours away at her house and basically a captive audience to mom, the ex will keep her a few extra days just to make sure we don't have the opportunity to take a family vacation. She has been successful for four years in doing so. The control is now gone and it's showing in her behavior. I expect it is going to get far more intense soon because once graduation is over, their is no more leverage.
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Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby Chaos » Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:45 pm

Your kid is an adult. She's not subject to the residential section of the parenting plan anymore. She decides when and where she sees mom now. You no longer need to speak with mom about the calender. Let her take you to court and make the argument that you didn't facilitate parenting time with your adult daughter. Ridiculous.
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Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Tue Mar 14, 2017 1:50 pm

big guy, its over man. Your adult child makes her own decisions now.

No one can take the other one to court over it.

Its over.
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Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Mar 15, 2017 10:47 pm

big guy wrote:I am getting nailed with accusations on every front by the ex.....there are a number of things she is squawking about
Ignore her. She wants nothing more than to open old wounds and drag you into her misery. Tell her to contact her attorney.

^^^ See there?? ^^^ Two can play that game.

big guy wrote:We do need to communicate about a few things that are important yet she tells me to only contact her through my lawyer.
Gee!! I guess these "important" issues aren't really that important after all.

She's baiting you, Bro. Don't fall for it. Go radio silent and leave it at that.

Tom
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Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby big guy » Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:18 am

Did a little investigating. She feels backed into a corner and lives in fear of what I might do. No wonder she lashes out. I am going totally silent.
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Re: How important is status quo vs the actual decree

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Mar 17, 2017 12:23 pm

big guy wrote:She feels backed into a corner.....
That's because she's goading for a fight and you won't give it to her.

Disconnect your buttons, Bro. She's not your wife any more. Whatever it is she wants to talk about isn't worth it. Go 100% radio silent.

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