Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby RockyCali » Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:05 pm

Not quite sure how to reconcile these two quotes ...

Snowolf wrote:but when I Skype our son and ask how she is she tells me "you don't need to know that"

Snowolf wrote:I would never ask my son how she's doing
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Apr 04, 2017 9:19 pm

Well he can't ask a 17-month old kid about anything and expect a cogent answer...
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Snowolf » Tue Apr 04, 2017 11:16 pm

RockyCali wrote:Not quite sure how to reconcile these two quotes ...

Snowolf wrote:but when I Skype our son and ask MY EX how she is she tells me "you don't need to know that"

Snowolf wrote:I would never ask my son how she's doing


I can see why you're confused. I'm confused by just reading it! When I Skype my son, my ex fiancé follows him around with the phone. Hopefully what I bolded clears up the confusion, I feel like we're getting a little off track here :lol:
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Snowolf » Tue Apr 04, 2017 11:20 pm

I'm putting in a motion to get my child support reduced. The current child support agreement is based off of what I used to make, which was to put it frank, a lot more unfortunately.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Snowolf » Tue Apr 04, 2017 11:49 pm

My head is spinning wildly tonight thinking about everything that's happened within the last 5 months. I've moved to California for nothing less than at least 50/50 with my son. Right now, everything in the parenting plan is still temporary and the case is actually still open in Washington. I do know that reducing the Child Support is a must, financially it's something I currently cannot afford going at this rate. From what I have reviewed, my chances are better for a 50/50 split with my son in California than in Washington, this is why I'm trying to get it moved. I've had my time getting settled, I've had my weekends with my son, now I want what I came here for.

The longer this drags out, the more worried I am that I will hear the ol' fashioned "why change the schedule the child is accustomed, and used to" from a judge. I have a brother who has been by my side this whole time, giving me great advice, but my circumstance is different. He never dealt with different states with his case.

Does anyone have experience with jurisdiction transfers, and the process? Why in the world would Washington fight to keep the case if we're all in California, it would make no sense. I believe the only person that would fight this, is my ex. Obviously she won't agree, but I don't see why the Judge would want to keep this in Washington.

Also, my attorney has asked me if I could talk to her to see if we could get this case moved. I feel like this is a VERY bad idea, it would tip her off completely and make her think I have something in motion other than the motion to reduce the child support.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby RockyCali » Wed Apr 05, 2017 12:15 am

Mine went from CA to OR. The jurisdiction should get transferred to the state where the child primarily resides. So it should be a slam dunk. Of course, she's welcome to contest the transfer in court. Seems foolish, but not like that stopped the NJ's from doing what they do in the past.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Snowolf » Wed Apr 05, 2017 12:31 am

RockyCali wrote:Mine went from CA to OR. The jurisdiction should get transferred to the state where the child primarily resides. So it should be a slam dunk. Of course, she's welcome to contest the transfer in court. Seems foolish, but not like that stopped the NJ's from doing what they do in the past.


This is what I thought as well, it only makes sense. I wish my attorney had an idea on how to do this before the 6 month timeframe, but he hasn't given me ANY reason to believe he can get it done. Should I contact another attorney in Washington to see if they have an idea? I'm getting run-around, my Washington attorney is saying he's not sure how California works when it comes to this, the California attorney's are saying that it's not California's problem until it gets transferred. It's just frustrating man.

Do you recall the process on what you had to do to get it moved?
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby a dad » Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:27 am

Do what you gotta do to move it to California and get a court date.

To increase parenting time, try to get more outside of court and document it. Say a relative is in town so you want to take kiddo for the day. Offer to help pickup/dropoff to daycare on her time. Tell her you planned a weekend with kiddo that would extend an extra day. Or you're stuck in traffic 100mi away with kiddo asleep in back so you want to keep kiddo overnight. Think of new excuses and keep pushing.

Some possible insight on Skype, I didn't want my ex seeing the inside of my home either. Maybe that's what she's doing, and considering you're trying to get info from/on her, maybe she's right to follow him around.

What's your current parenting schedule?
What's gonna be your proposed parenting schedule?
What's your backup? Step-up plan?
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Snowolf » Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:19 pm

a dad wrote:Do what you gotta do to move it to California and get a court date.

To increase parenting time, try to get more outside of court and document it. Say a relative is in town so you want to take kiddo for the day. Offer to help pickup/dropoff to daycare on her time. Tell her you planned a weekend with kiddo that would extend an extra day. Or you're stuck in traffic 100mi away with kiddo asleep in back so you want to keep kiddo overnight. Think of new excuses and keep pushing.

Some possible insight on Skype, I didn't want my ex seeing the inside of my home either. Maybe that's what she's doing, and considering you're trying to get info from/on her, maybe she's right to follow him around.

What's your current parenting schedule?
What's gonna be your proposed parenting schedule?
What's your backup? Step-up plan?


The problem with getting more that way is, she won't let it fly. I've asked her, I've told her I'm available to take him any time. Of course I'm trying to get info, she stole my son from me and I'm trying to give myself any opportunity I can to get him back. I don't make it obvious, she's told me she's working but of course I can't prove it and I also don't want to ask her where either.

My current schedule is every other weekend right now, with holidays on a even/odd rotating schedule. Of course, on the documents I have, I can't find Father's day. I could have sworn I got him every year for that...

My proposed parenting schedule is a 50/50 custody split between us, and as of right now I don't have a step-up plan. I actually want more, but the only thing she's done is lie to the courts, she's not a bad mother to our son though.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby a dad » Wed Apr 05, 2017 4:52 pm

You should come up with some actual parenting schedules, including a backup step-up schedule, and not just say "50/50".
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