Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Feb 24, 2017 12:06 pm

Snowolf wrote:I would absolutely love to get this case down to California the more I think about it.
This makes sense for lots of different reasons - good reasons too!! Most importantly, you moving close to S16mo is all about best interest - his best interest.

Bottom line: Jurisdiction lies with the county wherein the child resides. The lone caveat is meeting California State residency requirements; 6 mos.

IMHO, it sounds as if half of that residency requirement has been met. To verify this, you need to talk to a California attorney ASAP. Don't wait!! Get that ball rolling now.

Q: Has NJ severed residency ties in Washington State?? When did she "officially" sever those ties?? By officially, I mean ties that the California court would recognize.

Snowolf wrote:I understand she needs to agree.....
Who's telling you this??

Once California residency requirement is met, all you hafta do is file a Motion to Change Venue. At the same time, you also want to lock in a Temporary Parenting Plan thru ex parte, a Geographic Restriction (eg; neighborhood school), and ROFR.

Meanwhile, you should be keeping a well-written journal and parenting time tracker. You should also have a dedicated digital recorder up and running any time you're around her. It'll be your only defense against phony DV charges.

Snowolf wrote:.....does that mean we both have to get new attorneys?
Don't worry about her. Worry about you instead. And yes, you'll need a California attorney.

Tom
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby JamShow » Tue Feb 28, 2017 8:12 pm

If you, mom and Child are permanently residing in California, then put in a Motion to move jurisdiction ASAP. It's rather easy despite what some people may say on this forum. I recently moved my Alaska case to Ohio with ease--just 2 weeks! Washington does not want to continue jurisdiction over a case that the parents and minor no longer live in...trust me.

I'm not aware of any of the dad-friendly features of California, so you will have to have an attorney help you wade those waters. But by all means, don't allow Washington to continue jurisdiction of your case. It's not difficult to move, especially given the recent (permanent) changes of all of your moves to Cally, and Washington would be happy to allow them to preside jurisdiction.

Good Luck my friend.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Snowolf » Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:12 pm

Thanks for the responses everyone! I've been settled in here for about a month now and have had 3 great weekends with my son. I obviously want more than just 2 weekends a month with him though. He has a room of his own, is well fed at my house and genuinely enjoys being around Dad.

I'm getting a bit snagged by my Washington attorney. I'm guessing he's never had to deal with this before, and keeps insisting I wait 6 months. Financially, another 3 months of the child support i'm paying and Mom putting him in daycare is going to be brutal. I have contacted California attorney's and they all say that my attorney in Washington has to get the ball rolling.

I've looked online, and I've seen a 'change of venue' packet for Washington. Basically to complete this packet I need to have a new modification to nearly everything put into place it would seem. The problem is, I want to fight for joint custody down here in California, I like my chances a lot better. So if I submitted my packet to my attorney, would he not have to go back to court and get a decision from the judge in Washington?

This has been an infuriating process, it seems like my attorney in Washington is too busy and doesn't want to put in the leg work or this is just a very different circumstance for him. Either way, I'm trying to act on this now as best as I can in a completely different state.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Apr 04, 2017 5:28 pm

Snowolf wrote:...when I Skype our son and ask how she is she tells me "you don't need to know that". I simply want a cordial relationship with her for our son's sake...

Stop this. You're putting your child right between you and it's no wonder she gets pissed off at you for doing that. Just stop.

It's not cordial between you, though maybe after some time it will be. But you forcing the issue in front of the kid is stupid.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Snowolf » Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:04 pm

Trevor wrote:
Snowolf wrote:...when I Skype our son and ask how she is she tells me "you don't need to know that". I simply want a cordial relationship with her for our son's sake...

Stop this. You're putting your child right between you and it's no wonder she gets pissed off at you for doing that. Just stop.

It's not cordial between you, though maybe after some time it will be. But you forcing the issue in front of the kid is stupid.


This is how my Skype session goes with my 17 month old. She lets him see me, and then follows him around with her phone. He won't sit still for more than 4-5 minutes, so this is what she does. Whenever I Skype there is always so much going on over at their house that he gets distracted and is more interested in what's going then skyping me. It doesn't bother me that he does this, because he's just a little toddler, so I understand that this is how it is.

Now when I get him for the weekend and she wants to Skype him, I sit him down on my lap and attempt to keep him happy in front of the camera. I only really ask how she's been because I want to see if what she told the courts was the truth. Such as "I have a job lined up". I also only EVER talk to her when my son is in the distance and can't even hear me.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Apr 04, 2017 7:22 pm

Sorry I missed that he was so young. He can't even understand anything that's going on.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Snowolf » Tue Apr 04, 2017 8:20 pm

Trevor wrote:Sorry I missed that he was so young. He can't even understand anything that's going on.


No worries! Yeah, I can tell he doesn't understand yet. I'm still trying to figure out if this is good or bad though. It's definitely different when parents are split and the child is say 9 years old, but when it's all you've known since you've been an infant?
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Apr 04, 2017 8:22 pm

Quick - recall a memory you had at 17 months!

Point being, this is needless conflict between you and the STBX, I would just either leave it alone or change your expectations. Of course you make it so she can Skype and of course she makes it so you can't. Even if that isn't the truth, why would she go out of her way to accommodate you?

I get it, you want to get every ounce of experience with your child, skype, at this time, probably isn't doing you any favors and again puts STBX as a gatekeeper.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby RockyCali » Tue Apr 04, 2017 8:31 pm

Many parenting plans say that the parents can't ask the children about the other parent.

Even if yours doesn't, this should be a good practice.
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Re: Child custodial advice for a determined Dad

Unread postby Snowolf » Tue Apr 04, 2017 8:45 pm

RockyCali wrote:Many parenting plans say that the parents can't ask the children about the other parent.

Even if yours doesn't, this should be a good practice.


I would never ask my son how she's doing, I wouldn't want him to even think something was wrong.
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