Moved back to where my kids live

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Thu Feb 02, 2017 10:50 am

WOW! I can't tell you guys how much I appreciate this site! Little back history, 2 kids 9 B and 6 G, divorced going on 2 years now. I was living hour and fifteen away (my home town) but have now changed jobs and moved back within 10 minutes of my kids. Currently my < parenting time > is; I teach so I have the summers off and tried to get the full summers with the kids, but settled for every other week during the summer. I have every other weekend and alternating holidays also. Now that I have moved back into the area I am seeking 50/50, I have mediation orientation actually today. My ex is not a civil person (shortening the story) and she has used the kids to punish me for "not being a good husband". SO it has been very difficult and my thanks goes out to this site and many of you as reading the post has made me realize that what I am dealing with is very typical (when dealing with a vindictive ex). I get tired of leaning on friends and family as I am sure they get sick of hearing the constant steam of nightmare stories. I will continue to post and read
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Trevor » Thu Feb 02, 2017 1:23 pm

Which state?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Thu Feb 02, 2017 1:46 pm

Need to know your state and time line of events that led up to mediation.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Feb 02, 2017 1:48 pm

Aries13 wrote:WOW! I can't tell you guys how much I appreciate this site! Little back history, 2 kids S9 and D6, divorced going on 2 years now. I was living hour and fifteen away (my home town) but have now changed jobs and moved back within 10 minutes of my kids. Currently my < parenting time > is; I teach so I have the summers off and tried to get the full summers with the kids, but settled for every other week during the summer. I have every other weekend and alternating holidays also. Now that I have moved back into the area I am seeking 50/50, I have mediation orientation actually today. My ex is not a civil person (shortening the story) and she has used the kids to punish me for "not being a good husband". SO it has been very difficult and my thanks goes out to this site and many of you as reading the post has made me realize that what I am dealing with is very typical (when dealing with a vindictive ex). I get tired of leaning on friends and family as I am sure they get sick of hearing the constant steam of nightmare stories. I will continue to post and read
You mustn't waltz into court willie-nillie, Bro. Have you got a game plan??

The time has come to dig out your decree and study it thoroughly.

Q's: Is your ex gainfully employed?? Do you have ROFR?? Do you have anything in the way of geographic restriction??

Have you been keeping a well-written journal and parenting time tracker?? Is your digital recorder up and running any time you're around her?? It'll be your only defense against phony DV charges - because if she's vindictive like you say, that's exactly what'll happen. And if you're a teacher, that's the last thing you need.

Tom
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:33 am

State NC. Apologize for the lack of organization in advance.
Yes I have been keeping a journal / photos / videos of my time with the children. Also been keeping a running journal of all her erratic behavior. It has been consistent ever since the separation. Anything from not showing up to meeting / exchange locations, telling my little girl to call me by my first name instead of dad, telling the kids I am the old daddy and new husband is the new daddy, was supposed to carve pumpkins with my kindergartener at school but ex kept her out of school. I volunteered to coach my little boys football team, at the time was an hour drive for me to make the practices and games (4 times a week), the ex immediately started keeping him out of practices. By years end he missed 8 practices and 2 games, 9year olds. These are just a few examples and I do have pretty consistent documentation.

During the mediation my plan is to stay calm, not talk too much (just state my position clearly) and hope she has a change of heart. I honestly feel like it is a waste of time, she "is not backing down". I feel like we are bound for trial.

No DV, I believe I know what geographic restriction is (and none)

She is gainfully employed and makes more money than me.

I audio record all meetings.

We are in mediation because I filed a motion to adjust custody after moving back into the area.

I currently have every other weekend, alternating holidays, every other week in the summer, my day during the week that I am supposed to have them for dinners, she only gives me tuesdays (I work on at my part-time job) I asked for Thursday but they cant because "we have a special dinner" on Thursday nights.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:40 am

Almost forgot, had the mediation orientation yesterday and our mediation day is scheduled for 2/23. We never even made eye contact during the entire orientation. Even held the door for her as we walked out! :>
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby steelmark » Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:44 am

You talk much talk about her.

Stop giving her free rent in your head and focus on yourself and what you need to do put youself in the best possible position.
Prepare and execute to win by a thousand miles, just to be in position to win by an inch.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:54 am

Yes I do, point taken, thanks.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby BartSimpson » Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:56 am

What do your children call the mother's husband?
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:00 am

My 9 B calls him by his name, my 6 G calls him by his name most of the time, but I believe she calls him daddy some also. Don't know that as a fact. Curious why you ask?
Last edited by Aries13 on Fri Feb 03, 2017 9:05 am, edited 1 time in total.
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