Moved back to where my kids live

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:34 am

OK, so this is how mediation yesterday went. We get to the waiting area, we speak briefly, when we get with the mediator I say I would like 50/50. She then says she will not agree to that, but she would agree to on my weekends letting them spend the night on Sunday night and then I could take them to school on Monday mornings. The mediator even asked if she would do Thursday-Sunday every other week. She looked to ponder it for a second but then declined. I politely declined and the mediator let us go. Court date in a couple weeks.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Fri Feb 24, 2017 8:42 am

Good job, never agree to less than 50/50, take it all the way to the judge if that is what it takes.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Wed Mar 08, 2017 2:00 pm

Update: Had court this morning. Show up for 9am hearing, judge puts another case in front of ours to be heard today. Moves us to mid April with "priority" on that date. My lawyer communicates with me that during the discussion in chambers, my lawyer got the feeling that the judge felt that the circumstances in the case had not changed enough to change the current custody order. My lawyer suggest that she would try and get the judge changed. It personally felt like she was letting me know it didn't look good. Sound familiar to anyone?
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Wed Mar 08, 2017 2:40 pm

Sounds a lot like my state.

Moving closer to the kids is not considered a SCOC or COC or proper cause.

What you should have done is move closer and strategically gained more and more time with them and once you hit the 50% mark hire a litigator and motion to make the 50/50 official through court order. Its what I had to do, took 14 months and was soul crushing but it was the only way. It worked though.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Californiakids » Wed Mar 08, 2017 4:54 pm

My situation is similar to yours however there is no original order. I would be starting from scratch. I will definitely be following the outcome of your case.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Wed Mar 08, 2017 5:20 pm

Some states only care about COC in the kids lives and don't care at all about COC in the parents lives.

In my state moving closer to the kids is only a COC in YOUR life, not theirs.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby MonkeySee » Wed Mar 08, 2017 5:34 pm

Did you file asking for a change of custudy, or just a change of parenting time?
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Chaos » Wed Mar 08, 2017 5:42 pm

In my state it's a COC in the life of the child or the non moving party that matters. A change in your life wouldn't matter, a change in mom's would. That kind of thing is very state specific.

Is this your only shot at mediation?
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Wed Mar 08, 2017 7:04 pm

I filed for 50/50, not looking for sole. She is their mother and I realize, unlike her they need us both. One of the hardest things for me to internalize is the fact that she doesn't see it the same way. We tried mediation and she only offered sunday nights on my weekends, basically 6 nights a month instead of 4. I said no. My lawyer also suggested and I agreed to, sending her lawyer a letter offering Wednesday night through Sunday night. This would give me 10 nights a month. Also part of our argument is that mom did recently get married along with me moving into the area. Supposedly the judge today didn't have a complete understanding of the law.

lovingfather, your strategy sounds solid and in hindsight would be very effective. Thank you for the different perspective and I will keep it in mind.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Mar 08, 2017 11:46 pm

Aries13 wrote:.....my lawyer got the feeling that the judge felt that the circumstances in the case had not changed enough to change the current custody order. My lawyer suggest that she would try and get the judge changed. It personally felt like she was letting me know it didn't look good. Sound familiar to anyone?
YES!!

Instead of giving you ground shaking coaching on building your case, your attorney kicked you in the balls when you least expected it - the weakness of your case.....and at the same time, she also created a weakness, namely, your fear of the judge. Frankly Bro, she should've warned you of this before taking your money.....and certainly that warning should've come before you filed.

Either she's lost interest in your case or your attorney's capitulated to the other side. What's troubling is that your attorney didn't coach you on the rigors of custody modification namely, de facto custody by increments and how that strategy might work for you in your jurisdiction.

In other words, it's incumbent upon you to create a significant change in circumstances - and chances are, you'll hafta create it out of thin air. And as veterans here will attest, this takes time; like many months. And during those months, it's important that you don't tip your hand. Because right now, you just tipped your hand in the worst possible way. And in the greater scheme of things, that's a major mistake, something you can't recover from over the course of the foreseeable future.

Q: How long as it ben since you moved closer to your kids?? Has your parenting time increased since making that move??

Q: Other than modification of parenting plan, you should be asking for a number of other concessions. What are they??

Aries13 wrote: My lawyer also suggested and I agreed to, sending her lawyer a letter offering Wednesday night through Sunday night.
Your attorney has got you compromising all over the place. If what you want is 50/50, why would you settle for this?? Tell your attorney you want 7/7 plus other concessions like tax deductions, ROFR, and geographic restriction.

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