Moved back to where my kids live

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:08 pm

Thanks for the response! Went the pizza and season 4 pt b of vikings tonight. But yea it always sucks!
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:12 pm

Have we talked about your alien abduction plan?

If Aliens abducted the mother tomorrow, what is your plan to care for your child 24/7/365? How would you do it? Who would help you?
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:28 pm

I would care for them. Clarify your question a bit please.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:35 pm

Let's say the mother isn't there, it's all up to you.

Do you use child care?
Does G'ma come live with you?
Do you lock them in the basement until their 18?

What would you do if the mother wasn't available anymore, like Aliens took her *poof*?
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Sun Feb 12, 2017 8:44 pm

Do you use child care?
Yes, after school care. I teach in the same county as my children.

Does G'ma come live with you?
No
Do you lock them in the basement until their 18?
Lol, no.

What would you do if the mother wasn't available anymore, like Aliens took her *poof*?
I understood the question, it just seemed very broad. First reading it I started thinking about how long my response was going to be. :)
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby BartSimpson » Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:23 pm

We have hundreds of stories here of it happening in an instant. Something happens, and you are it.

It's worth making that plan now, while you are down in the dumps about sending the children back. How far you want to take that plan is up to you. Personally, I'd plan it down to the last detail and be so ready, my pants would be bloused over my boots like a fireman.

Do you have a weeks worth of stuff around your place to cover the kids if they arrive with nothing but lint in their pockets?
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Sun Feb 12, 2017 9:31 pm

Understood.
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Aries13 » Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:50 am

Found out about a year ago that I have a 13 year old boy with a girl I dated years ago. I contacted her and have began developing the relationship between him and I as well as his relationship with my other two, his half brother and sister. Actually had all three stay overnight at my place last weekend, which was surreal. The working relationship between his mother and me is going very well. We are able to talk and base our decisions on what we feel is best for our 13 year old. My question is, do you guys feel that it would be beneficial for me to have his mother testify on my behalf at my upcoming court date? I feel that concentrating on me as a dad, as I have read here, will help in my current situation trying to get week on week off with my other two children. She is a upstanding young mother (succesfull flight nurse) who has two other boys with the guy she dated and married immediately after her and I dated. Thank you for your opinions!
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby Trevor » Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:57 pm

No. Too risky for you.

She is an unknown thing - having someone testify for you who decided unilaterally to keep you from your own kid for 13 years (guessing DNA test validation, Rammy?). Risky too because it's a situation outside your present case, which is only related tangentially.

Why is she getting involved in someone else's case anyway? I would never voluntarily do that...too much emotion. And if my hypothetical wife told me she was getting involved in an old lover's divorce...well there would be choices made. I am not a fan of borrowing headaches that belong to someone else.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: Moved back to where my kids live

Unread postby americandadof5 » Sun Feb 19, 2017 5:24 pm

I've thought about this myself with my oldest S10's mother.

In OP's case, id agree since like you said shes an "unknown" but i think the idea in more established relationships isnt that bad.

I read a blog when my fiasco started titled The Custody Witness Few Ever Think to Call that puts a different spin on that idea though.

Key Points were
The mere presence of the ex-spouse on behalf of one’s custody client communicates: 1) I loved this parent enough to marry him or her; 2) our love went bad to such an extent that we ended our marriage; 3) I still think enough of his or her parenting to come to court and support the custody claim. Especially in the context of a family court that typically observes nothing but hatred and contempt between ex-spouses, that’s incredibly powerful.
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