Custody evaluation underway - California

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Outis » Thu Oct 20, 2016 5:32 pm

A common tactic for a long time was to use traditional gender roles and scheduling to preclude fathers from having equal access to their children. School and medical are two of the biggest ones.

Regarding daycare, it's considered "school" by mothers who wish to emphasize the importance of scheduling and consistency. After all, isn't structure and a normal schedule just oh so important for little ones? And isn't maintaining that structure and consistency much better than a random day with dad, just because he's decided to take the day/afternoon/week off?

Expect these issues to crop up, especially with your 730 eval.
What am I to do with all this silence
Shy away, shy away phantom
Run away terrified child
User avatar
Outis
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 7819
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2009 1:13 pm

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby BartSimpson » Thu Oct 20, 2016 5:32 pm

Consider your question - your child is in childcare all day, and you wonder if you should take your child out of childcare and spend the day with D3, or put her back in childcare after the home visit?

In summary: Childcare - is it more important than time with a parent?
Volenti non fit injuria
User avatar
BartSimpson
20K Club
 
Posts: 26211
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 8:50 pm

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Mon Oct 24, 2016 3:39 pm

BartSimpson wrote:Consider your question - your child is in childcare all day, and you wonder if you should take your child out of childcare and spend the day with D3, or put her back in childcare after the home visit?

In summary: Childcare - is it more important than time with a parent?

That helps, thanks. I will keep her home the whole day.
Qwertyuiop
50+ Posts
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:02 am

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby steelmark » Wed Oct 26, 2016 9:12 am

Does you D have friends that pop by to play? That doesn't hurt when the evaluator is there.
Prepare and execute to win by a thousand miles, just to be in position to win by an inch.
User avatar
steelmark
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 1688
Joined: Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:01 am

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Tue Apr 18, 2017 11:29 am

Felt like this thread was more appropriate to continue.

Custody evaluation ended last week, got the final recommendation this week. Evaluator recommends joint legal/physical custody though he also recommends the mother be permitted to move across the country with D3.

If we are in the same community, time share will be 50/50 as it has been since day 1. If mother moves and I stay in CA, I will have D3 on all 3 day weekends. Mother will have to accompany D3 via airplane out to CA and I accompany D3 back to FL 3 days later.

6 weeks in the summer, holidays split.

I am meeting with my attorneys to strategize around raising objections but I am in utter shock.

Report says I am a loving, competent father with a strong bond with D3, etc. Nothing negative about either parent in the report. Seems to side with Mother that Bay Area is expensive, her parents are in FL.

I imagine my only shot is taking it to trial. Do I have a chance? I've been told that challenging the recommendation of the evaluator is incredibly difficult and costly.
Qwertyuiop
50+ Posts
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:02 am

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Apr 18, 2017 11:55 am

I'm shocked too. Under the same circumstances, I'd fight like hell to make OC have to somehow prove in court that the mother's existing COL supersedes the child's rights to the status quo of 50/50 between two fit (as determined by the 730 process) parents.

That's a draconian measure, dont'cha think, when better household economics would be a sounder solution than eliminating Dad from the child's (near)daily life.

Still, my advice stands on doing the homework of a serious job search in the prospective new location of the child in FL. How much time between now and the possible relocation? Certainly you won't agree to settle, even with her paying 100% of the travel, so you have a bit of time, yes?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
Trevor
Moderator
 
Posts: 23006
Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 8:55 pm

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Apr 18, 2017 12:37 pm

Qwertyuiop wrote: Evaluator recommends joint legal/physical custody though he also recommends the mother be permitted to move across the country with D3.
Evaluator's evaluation is contradictory. In layman's terms, "He's speaking out of both sides of his mouth."

$64 Q: How can you have joint legal and joint physical when mother lives in Florida and you live in California.

Ans: You can't!!

If mother moves to Florida, you can expect her to file for custody modification in the not-too-distant future.

Take this to court. Challenge the evaluator's recommendation. California's a 50/50 state. For that matter, Florida's a 50/50 state as well. But to get 50/50 in either state, you hafta live in the vicinity where D3 resides. And if you don't, it might be enough to trigger a significant change in circumstance. And IMHO, this is mother's game plan.

BTW - With mother in Florida, once divorce is finalized, there's no guarantee she will abide by terms and conditions of your parenting plan. Moreover, she knows how this game is played. This isn't her first rodeo!! You must never trust her.

Tom
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™
Tom Kirkpatrick
5K+ Posts
 
Posts: 7273
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2005 11:31 pm
Location: Pacific NW

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Tue Apr 18, 2017 2:21 pm

Trevor wrote:I'm shocked too. Under the same circumstances, I'd fight like hell to make OC have to somehow prove in court that the mother's existing COL supersedes the child's rights to the status quo of 50/50 between two fit (as determined by the 730 process) parents.

That's a draconian measure, dont'cha think, when better household economics would be a sounder solution than eliminating Dad from the child's (near)daily life.

Still, my advice stands on doing the homework of a serious job search in the prospective new location of the child in FL. How much time between now and the possible relocation? Certainly you won't agree to settle, even with her paying 100% of the travel, so you have a bit of time, yes?


Fortunately, my attorney is a much better trial lawyer than STBX's. We will end up taking this to trial, I'm sure.

I just secured a new job in our current area but will begin researching the area STBX wants to move to. I have at least 2 months before she can move, more like 6 if we go to trial.

The kicker in the recommendation is for the delivering parent to pay for the child's airfare. Mother on way out and Father on way back.
Qwertyuiop
50+ Posts
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:02 am

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Tue Apr 18, 2017 2:27 pm

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:
Qwertyuiop wrote: Evaluator recommends joint legal/physical custody though he also recommends the mother be permitted to move across the country with D3.
Evaluator's evaluation is contradictory. In layman's terms, "He's speaking out of both sides of his mouth."

$64 Q: How can you have joint legal and joint physical when mother lives in Florida and you live in California.

Ans: You can't!!

If mother moves to Florida, you can expect her to file for custody modification in the not-too-distant future.

Take this to court. Challenge the evaluator's recommendation. California's a 50/50 state. For that matter, Florida's a 50/50 state as well. But to get 50/50 in either state, you hafta live in the vicinity where D3 resides. And if you don't, it might be enough to trigger a significant change in circumstance. And IMHO, this is mother's game plan.

BTW - With mother in Florida, once divorce is finalized, there's no guarantee she will abide by terms and conditions of your parenting plan. Moreover, she knows how this game is played. This isn't her first rodeo!! You must never trust her.

Tom


It has always been the mother's plan to gain sole custody and move to FL. She attempted this at first by filing exe parte, alleging a bunch of horrible things about me...since proven false. I wa operating under the assumption that should the evaluation come back in my favor, we would go to trial because she is unwilling to give up. I knew going into this that I will be battling her until D3 turns 18.

We will be fighting this. Have had another custody expert on retainer since before the 730 evaluation began. My attorney is a much better trial lawyer than STBX's. I've been successful at every juncture thus far when we were in front of the judge.

STBX played dirty throughout all of this. Trial favors me, I suppose, except having to challenge the evaluator.
Qwertyuiop
50+ Posts
 
Posts: 51
Joined: Sat Jun 18, 2016 10:02 am

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Tue Apr 18, 2017 3:38 pm

I would fight this to the bitter end, even if the odds were stacked against me, it would motivate me that much more to fight with everything I have.
I type butter on mah phon
User avatar
lovingfatherof2
1K+ Posts
 
Posts: 2303
Joined: Thu Nov 19, 2015 12:50 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Parenting - Child Custody Forum and Child Support Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Moz Roger [Crawler] and 7 guests