Custody evaluation underway - California

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Wed Oct 12, 2016 12:48 pm

steelmark wrote:Do you have a solid list of people that can cooberate your involvement? Day care providers, doctors, neighbors, play date parents etc? Your evaluator will likely ask for a list of people to contact.

Your journaling becomes all the more powerful when it's cooberated by various people who aren't connected.

You have that and you don't need to refute anything, those accusations become obviously false to the evaluator.


I do have a solid list of people that can corroborate my involvement. Fortunately, there is a ton of hard evidence of my involvement - emails, texts, daycare pick up/drop off records, etc.
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Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Oct 12, 2016 1:03 pm

Qwertyuiop wrote:STBX was the subject of a custody case lasting 11 years as a child. This is what she knows.

$64 Q: ^^^ If this is how NJ behaves before divorce, how do you think she'll behave months or years after divorce is finalized??

ANS: You're gonna want a well-written, boiler plate, water proof decree with no loop holes. Based upon NJ's actions today, you should also be thinking "remedies." My 2¢.

One more thing: When that day comes, your attorney should be the one writing the decree.

Tom
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Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Wed Oct 12, 2016 4:15 pm

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:
Qwertyuiop wrote:STBX was the subject of a custody case lasting 11 years as a child. This is what she knows.

$64 Q: ^^^ If this is how NJ behaves before divorce, how do you think she'll behave months or years after divorce is finalized??

ANS: You're gonna want a well-written, boiler plate, water proof decree with no loop holes. Based upon NJ's actions today, you should also be thinking "remedies." My 2¢.

One more thing: When that day comes, your attorney should be the one writing the decree.

Tom


I expect her to fight for a while.

Remedies meaning money or something else?
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Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Oct 12, 2016 8:34 pm

Qwertyuiop wrote:.....the evaluator is empowered to make a temporary time share order so we can move into separate residences.
$64 Q: Who's the lucky party who gets to move out?? I'll bet a month's pay it's gonna be you.

Qwertyuiop wrote:Remedies meaning money or something else?
Back in Archives, we had active discussions about NJ's just like yours; and what to do about them post-divorce.

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=6558&p=33486&hilit=101#p33486

Bottom line: You're gonna need good cause before a judge will order remedies in your decree. And then, there's the matter of decree enforcement, should NJ violate terms and conditions written therein. But then again, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

FYI - Generally speaking, decree violations must be egregious before a judge will order anything in the way of sanctions. And in some jurisdictions, self-executing remedies are unenforceable. Moreover, remedies notwithstanding, it's unlikely police will do anything to enforce terms and conditions of your decree over matters like parenting time denial. Police will simply tell you to take it to the judge and send you on your way.

Remedies is definitely something you need to run by your attorney.

Tom
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Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Fri Oct 14, 2016 12:43 pm

Thank you, Tom. I appreciate the help. I'll speak with my lawyers about remedies.



Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:
Qwertyuiop wrote:.....the evaluator is empowered to make a temporary time share order so we can move into separate residences.
$64 Q: Who's the lucky party who gets to move out?? I'll bet a month's pay it's gonna be you.

Qwertyuiop wrote:Remedies meaning money or something else?
Back in Archives, we had active discussions about NJ's just like yours; and what to do about them post-divorce.

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=6558&p=33486&hilit=101#p33486

Bottom line: You're gonna need good cause before a judge will order remedies in your decree. And then, there's the matter of decree enforcement, should NJ violate terms and conditions written therein. But then again, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

FYI - Generally speaking, decree violations must be egregious before a judge will order anything in the way of sanctions. And in some jurisdictions, self-executing remedies are unenforceable. Moreover, remedies notwithstanding, it's unlikely police will do anything to enforce terms and conditions of your decree over matters like parenting time denial. Police will simply tell you to take it to the judge and send you on your way.

Remedies is definitely something you need to run by your attorney.

Tom
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Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Thu Oct 20, 2016 3:06 pm

Next step in the evaluation is the first home visit, scheduled for the week after next. Evaluator will come to my house, which I share with my STBX and visit with my D3 and I.

Any tips beyond the obvious? House cleaners come on Monday. Entire house has been set up around my D3, safe, ample play space.

D3 is usually in school on weekdays. I am wondering if it is a good idea to keep her out of school the whole day or only for the time needed for the evaluator? Trick or Treating the night before and all that.

Thanks.
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Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Outis » Thu Oct 20, 2016 3:30 pm

What school is there for a three year old? Please don't call this school.
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Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Thu Oct 20, 2016 4:59 pm

Outis wrote:What school is there for a three year old? Please don't call this school.

Pre-primary.
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Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Outis » Thu Oct 20, 2016 5:01 pm

That's what we call daycare.

Are you aware of why it shouldn't be considered school?
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Re: Custody evaluation underway - California

Unread postby Qwertyuiop » Thu Oct 20, 2016 5:18 pm

Outis wrote:That's what we call daycare.

Are you aware of why it shouldn't be considered school?

No, I am not aware of why it shouldn't be considered school.
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