With a solid career and family in the area, why does NJ want to move cross country?? In consideration of D3's best interest, one would think it would be incumbent upon her to show good cause. What does your attorney say in this regard??
Keep in mind, by and large, California is a 50/50 state.
You need to be thinking "geographic restriction" for D3; NJ can move cross country, but D3 stays in Santa Clara Co; in your school district. But at the same time, if NJ is granted her move (which IMHO, isn't likely), you should make plans follow her.
Q: To which state is NJ moving??
Bottom line, irrespective of NJ's move, when all is said and done, you want a California decree in hand. To lock that in, and prevent change in venue, you may need to file an Injunction to keep D3 in California until divorce is finalized.
Sit tight Bro, and wait for some California dads to chime in.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion. - Maxine™