NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby Stratagem » Thu Nov 21, 2013 11:23 pm

I wanted to get some advice on this situation. NJ has basically "dismissed" her father (children's grandpa) from her life. She is mad at him for various reasons. He and her mother divorced when she was young.

The children had a relationship with him where they saw him a few times a year. After we split up, the NJ completely cut him out of her and the children's life. He wrote me a letter wishing me well, and stating how he would like to see the children.

I think it is very cruel of her to keep the children away from him; I basically get the same treatment - court ordered time and not 1 minute more.

She has done the same thing to his mother (childrens great grandmother). The great grandmother has not seen them in about 5 years (I think she is still alive).

My question: Should I occasionally re-introduce the children to him\her? Or is this going to cause more issues than it is worth?
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Re: NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby Fatheroffour » Thu Nov 21, 2013 11:30 pm

Its really your decision to make if its a battle you think is worth fighting for.

I know if I cut off a family member for what I believed were my own good reasons and my ex went out of their way to subvert my will it would not go unchallenged.


Is it a fight you honestly believe in and are willing to accept the consequences of or do you just want to poke her in the eye?
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Re: NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby Stratagem » Fri Nov 22, 2013 12:57 am

I want to do what is best for the kids. It has nothing to do with her. The kids ask about him sometimes, and I don't have a good answer.

She may have her reasons, but they are not appropriate to completely take his grandkids away. She hates her dad like a lot of NJ's.....

My concern is what impact it will ultimately have on the kids. My relationship with her is volatile.
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Re: NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby Trevor » Fri Nov 22, 2013 4:52 am

If this guy is loved and missed by your kids to the extent that you are willing to cede some of your parenting time, trust your judgment. Otherwise, be rational about whose problem it is and why.
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Re: NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby Fatheroffour » Fri Nov 22, 2013 5:17 am

She may have her reasons, but they are not appropriate to completely take his grandkids away.


As a parent, its her right to make that decision. If the grandparent disagrees and can make their case I believe your state will grant them some < parenting time >.

My relationship with her is volatile.


Safe to assume you are not looking for it to improve.

What you are suggesting is nutjobby.
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Re: NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby samnc » Fri Nov 22, 2013 7:37 am

I dont think this is your fight to take up. No good (for you) will come from this.
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Re: NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby Stratagem » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:14 am

Fatheroffour wrote:
She may have her reasons, but they are not appropriate to completely take his grandkids away.


As a parent, its her right to make that decision. If the grandparent disagrees and can make their case I believe your state will grant them some < parenting time >.

My relationship with her is volatile.


Safe to assume you are not looking for it to improve.

What you are suggesting is nutjobby.

That is a good point. I guess he could retain an attorney and ask for some time with them. He shouldn't have to though. It is evil and cruel to keep a grandparents grandkids out of there life. He has never done them any wrong, and I believe this is all a projection of NJ's NJ mother. They are both alike, she coached and mentored NJ, and is a meddling witch.

I would love for the relationship with NJ to improve, but I don't think it will ever happen. In the last several months I have had to send her 3 R3's for interfering with parenting time, and coaching the kids to call Mr. Wonderful dad. I am 100% certain she suffers from BPD - the symptoms are all there.

She will not trade\move parenting time with the kids in any capacity. Her most concerning move is keeping the kids in extended therapy that started last summer. She said the kids are stressed over having to spend a week away from her at a time. I met with the therapist, about a month ago. There were no red flags at that meeting, but I still sense NJ has an ulterior motive with it. She seems to be on a PAS kick the last 6 months or so.
Last edited by Stratagem on Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby Fatheroffour » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:16 am

It is evil and cruel to keep a grandparents grandkids out of there life.


You never met my dads parents.
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Re: NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby afc » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:22 am

If you want the kids to see a specific person then you do it on your time. She has no obligation to spend her time on it.

Grandparents rights arent that strong in most states when there are parents alive.

Which is a good thing
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Re: NJ Alienating Children From Grandpa

Postby Trevor » Fri Nov 22, 2013 11:55 am

With you mentioning the infrequency of time this guy spent with the kids, and your apparent lack of exposure to him in recent years (as well as the kids), seems to me this would be insufficient grounds to give up your parenting time.

There is a possibility that your x has good reason for icing out gpa, and that you're not going to get reason or facts out of her, so more and more this appears to be someone else's problem, and not really a problem for the kids, unless the guy moves closer to be in his grandkids' lives. Nothing stopping him today from showing up to events, right? His daughter is his avenue to the kids, unless you choose to let him know you'll be at the park on Sunday if he wants to stop by there and spend a little time with all of you.
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