Getting Custody

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

Getting Custody

Postby fairdad » Thu May 24, 2012 7:18 pm

Sorry if this is too long.

First My ex and I used to live in FL and had joint custody. For job reasons I moved out of state and at the same time she moved out of state with her fiance.

There is no modified agreement between us. 2 years ago we had to call DCF on her because her parents came to me saying that her fiance was abusing her and the kids. DCF came back unfounded and the kids told me they were told they would be in trouble if they told the truth.

She has alienated all family except for her fiances family. Her fiance will not allow any of her family in his home. He has a criminal record and drug use.

I pay child support and all travel expenses and she is now telling me that I need to send her money for gas to get to the airport because she is already writing checks that are going to bounce.

I would like to have primary custody of my children and they have said they want to live with me. My ex says that my daughter can come when she is 12 (in 2 years) but my son has to wait until he is 12 also, he is 7 now. I told her I do not want to split the kids and she says "Oh well they will be fine"

I would like to hear any advice. I do have a phone consultation with a lawyer from their state tomorrow, but I am going mad missing my kids. Thank you.
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Re: Getting Custody

Postby CCR » Thu May 24, 2012 7:31 pm

Sounds like she has the kids most of the time....it will be an uphill battle. You need abuse or neglect charges to have a solid case. Her fiance's background may help you or may not.
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Re: Getting Custody

Postby cynicalDad » Fri May 25, 2012 12:01 am

If she's offering custody of one of the children now willingly I'd jump on that. It's not ideal but it may be the easiest way to get at least one of the kids without much work. Later you can rachet up the pressure on getting primary custody of the other one. I can promise you that you will have a hard time getting a judge to award PC to you after you voluntarily moved away unless you can prove that ex is actually putting the children in danger (abuse/neglect) and yes it needs to be PROVEN not just implied -- a criminal record is a "slam dunk" by any shot unfortunately.

Sorry I just read the "2 years" part. That is most likely an empty promise...

I was in a similar situation as you (moved 180 miles away for work) and I did end up going back and getting more time with my son but, yeah it was an uphill battle. I certainly wouldn't get my heart set on custody since the children can't voice their opinion at this point and the status quo is with the mother.
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