How do you and your wife handle finances? My suggestion would be that you both contribute the same amount to the household expenses, then you do whatevery you want with the rest of your money. My GF and I handle it that way and it's really worked out well. We make joint decisions on how the household money is spent (buy new appliance, paint the house, remodel kitchen), but the rest of our money we spend as we want. Most of mine goes to child support, college for my kids, vacation with my kids. She spends some of hers on her family (parents, nieces/nephews), but she saves a lot. She says she needs to be able to take care of herself in retirement since she doesn't have kids to help.
As long as your wife is not being asked to pay for child support or your daughter's college, then she really has no say in how you spend your money. That said, I would hope your daughter would be working during the summer to earn spending money while she's at school. I understand during the school year she's focused on school and other activities, but during the summer she can easily work 30-40 hours.