LOBO3315a wrote:So I mentioned offhand that the "New Boyfriend" must be hanging out a lot with him then. My son started to answer me, and then said, " Mom says if you want to know anything about "The New Boyfriend" you have to ask her."
You crossed the line here and the response your son gave is exactly what I tell my kids to say when their mom pumps them for information. Technically, *you* are engaging in a mild form of PAS. Cut it out. Like The Captain said, you aren't fooling anyone.
LOBO3315a wrote:I should know what my son is doing, espically with a guy that gets to spend more time with him than I do. What if this guy smacks my son, but he won't tell me because his mom told him if I want to know anything, I have to go through her?
No you don't have the right to know everything they do on their time. This is the contolling part that The Captain pointed out. You can "what-if" this thing to death. What if he sees them doing drugs or having sex? You will drive yourself nuts worrying about things you cannot, and should not, control.
LOBO3315a wrote:So I took it upon myself to tell my son, that he is allowed to talk to me about ANYTHING. Even if his mother told him not to tell me something, he's allowed to tell me, and he won't get in trouble. But if he decided to also not tell me about something, then he would not be in trouble as well, but he was always allowed to talk to me about anything he wants to.
So no matter what he does, he won't get in trouble. Now that's clear communication for a 10yo to handle. [Jeez.] By the way, it's my guess he isn't worried about getting in trouble with you for leaking stories about what happens with mom and the NB (he probably knows he'll get rewarded)--he is probably concerned about getting in trouble with his mom--so it's pretty disingenuous of you to grant him amnesty from reprisals you cannot control.