explaining divorce to a 6 year old...

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

explaining divorce to a 6 year old...

Unread postby DadInKS » Wed Feb 09, 2005 12:56 pm

Are there any books or online resources, to help me prepare to explain all this to my little girl? I have sat and tried to put it together in my head, but nothing seems to sound right.
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Unread postby FurryCatHerder » Wed Feb 09, 2005 3:09 pm

(Deleted due to being electronically stalked on this board.)
Last edited by FurryCatHerder on Mon Jan 02, 2006 5:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Unread postby Kat » Wed Feb 09, 2005 5:12 pm

I agree with the idea of getting a therapist if needed. But please make sure that YOU are comfortable with the therapist first. Also your child's school counselor may be useful and/or have a recommendation for a good therapist that works with children dealing with divorcing parents. Give your child plenty of time and love. And realize that they all deal with issues differently. My daughter was three when her father and I divorced. She's nine now. Our divorce was and is still very amicable. She has a great relationship with her father. I thought she was "over" any divorce issues. Yet less than a week ago she asked me again why we had to get divorced. It's tough and takes a lot of love and support.

Good luck to you and your daughter!
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Unread postby DadInKS » Wed Feb 09, 2005 5:20 pm

Thank you. I thought about contacting the head of the local university's Counseling department for recommendations.

I honestly believe that my wife and I will have a amicable split, and both can be great parents to her, seperately. It's all just so overwhelming sometimes....
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Unread postby nclark » Thu Feb 10, 2005 10:47 am

I've read two chapters in two seperate books about telling the children. My wife and I plan on telling our 4 girls (9,7,5, &2) next week. Basically the books say to tell the children 1 to 2 weeks before you plan to move out.

As for what you say, basically the books tell you to 1) Not to blame the other spouse;2) assure the children that is not their fault;3) reassure children that you will be involved in their lives just like you are now; 4) inform the children about where you will live, if you know, and when you will see them; and, 5) offer to answer any questions they have. If both parents seem confident , composed and cooperative, the kids will feel less upset, angry, and scared.

My wife and I have set aside a few hours to discuss and rehearse what we will say to the children. Good luck.
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Unread postby lingering » Sat Feb 19, 2005 9:06 pm

I once read that by explaining to a child about how one of their favorite toys broke and could not be fixed would be the easiest for one so young to understand best. Mommy and Daddy became one through our marriage but our marriage broke and can not be fixed and now we are two people (two pieces). We still love you just the same as when we were one piece through marriage , But now that we are two pieces we are to live apart but you will always have us both. I read this on a web site I will see if I can find it again and let you know what site it is ,they had some really good advice. Hope you find the strength to stay strong not only for yourself but for all those involved.
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Unread postby Lawmoe » Sun Feb 20, 2005 5:01 pm

Try the Book "Mommy's House, Daddy's House."

It is specifically made for children.
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Unread postby Lamma » Mon Feb 21, 2005 2:10 pm

I'll second what nclark wrote. We already had the talk with our 5 year old and explained to her that mommy and daddy still loved each other but that we're not going to be married or live in the same house anymore. But we're still friends. We stressed that it was no one's fault that sometimes things like this happen.

She seemed to get it, but not fully. It's been about two weeks since then, and I've had her on both weekends and I think it's beginning to dawn on her. But because we both sat down with her and were as loving about the whole heartbreaking event, I think we did okay.

We're prepared to get a therapist if needed. My STBX has already found one should the need arise.

Best of luck.
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