I fired my attorney tonight...

Parental Alienation, Malicious Mother Syndrome, dealing with the ex, and various other non-legal concerns throughout the process.

I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby thenextstep84 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 10:10 pm

Hey all,

Had the advice to come on here and ask for some advice from y'all due to the "blunt nature" in which I describe the advice I get.

Anyway...as the heading says I let my attorney go due to just being super disorganized. We had three months to a stipulation completed and I've agreed to so many things, but he said "sorry they sent it to me in PDF and I can't edit it." Long story short, he ignored me and it was like pulling teeth to get him to do anything, my gut told me to fire him, so I listened to myself.

I have a D3, in NYS, and we have a stipulation on the table which includes every other weekend, one night a week, summer vacation, travel, etc.

There is some really insane stuff in it - my parents can only visit my daughter in a public place, and I have to get alcohol tested for six months. But other than that I don't feel like I can't agree to it.

My question is - I can just represent myself until the stip is complete and signed, right?

Any advice, however blunt, is appreciated.

Thanks,
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Re: I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby Chaos » Mon Feb 12, 2018 10:22 pm

You can, but it's hard to recommend it. Is there any way to get another attorney?

You want to go watch some hearings. Watch your potential attorneys in action. When you see one you like, get a card. It's an audition, not an interview.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby thenextstep84 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 10:27 pm

Chaos wrote:You can, but it's hard to recommend it. Is there any way to get another attorney?


Thanks for the reply...

I am so done with spending money on crappy attorneys. I am broke. $110k in debt and that's totally my fault, I don't blame anyone for it, but I think if I spend another dollar on an attorney I am going to hate myself for it.
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Re: I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:04 pm

thenextstep84 wrote:....we have a stipulation on the table which includes every other weekend, one night a week, summer vacation, travel, etc.
Why should you stipulate to this?? It's known as the "EOW Screw Job. Basically it's a parenting plan a felon could get.

thenextstep84 wrote:.....I have to get alcohol tested for six months.
Why alcohol testing?? Do you have alcohol issues?? Have you been in trouble with the law??.....like DUI??

thenextstep84 wrote:I don't feel like I can't agree to it.
Indeed you shouldn't. Do you have a game plan??

Who wrote the order??

thenextstep84 wrote:I can just represent myself until the stip is complete and signed, right?
Of course you can. But why should you sign it at all?? Aside from supervised parenting, it's the worst plan you could get. And you're agreeing to this??

At the very least, you should be fighting tooth and nail for 50/50. And if not 50/50 right away, then you should be crafting a step-up parenting plan where you'll get 50/50 by the time D-3 starts kindergarten.

Remember, you get exactly one chance to get this right. When (not if) you have second thoughts down the road (and trust me, you will), there will be no do-over's.

Tom
Like football, family court is a game of inches. A John Madden strategy
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Re: I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby thenextstep84 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:16 am

Tom,

What is "EOW", but yes, I know...It's a standard agreement. With extra crap in it for my ex-wife to continue to be codependent on me.

The thing is this - I could wait another year until we are done with trial, but I've been in this for over two years already...

I had a problem with alcohol (just using a lot) when I was married to her (trust me, you'd drink too)...but I haven't had a drink in nearly three years, totally sober and I have no compulsion towards it.

I don't have a game plan, other than letting go and letting God. I am not sure what the next step is here.

I would love 50/50.

The other issue - I am broke (see earlier post), and my ex seems to have a money tree that just keeps giving her cash.

What should I do?
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Re: I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby MonkeySee » Tue Feb 13, 2018 7:30 am

Blunt: Fighting for time with your kids is one of the things in your life worth going into debt for, not the place to save money.

The deal you are trying to set up is controlling and minimizing to your relationship with your kids. Are you ok with settling for that? Is that the dad you want to be?

EOW means every other weekend.

I don't see how drinking that hasn't caused any issues for at least three years pertains to today other than being a way to control you and get you to crumble to the demands.
Mom, stepmom, and grandma in OH.
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Re: I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Tue Feb 13, 2018 8:23 am

The time to fight for custody is before the divorce is finalized. Once finalized, it's many times more difficult, costly and time consuming to modify custody.
The only way out is through.
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Re: I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby steelmark » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:05 am

If the only thing you’ve read here is how to manage your attorney, you haven’t read much.

Letting go and let god, letting the ex remain Co dependent on you, accepting the EOW screw job.

Dude.
Prepare and execute to win by a thousand miles, just to be in position to win by an inch.
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Re: I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby Chicyn2001 » Tue Feb 13, 2018 11:03 am

thenextstep84 wrote:I had a problem with alcohol (just using a lot) when I was married to her (trust me, you'd drink too)...but I haven't had a drink in nearly three years, totally sober and I have no compulsion towards it.

Good. If it meant me getting more time with my kids I'd tell them I'll <urine> in a cup every single morning if that's what they want. I've got nothing to hide.
thenextstep84 wrote:I don't have a game plan, other than letting go and letting God. I am not sure what the next step is here.

Keep asking questions here and develop that game plan. You know, just in case God is busy with other stuff and doesn't have time to focus on your divorce at the moment.
thenextstep84 wrote:I would love 50/50.

When I first filed and was worried about time with my kids my brother texted me a quote. "What are you prepared to do?" - Jim Malone, The Untouchables. I wrote it down on a post-it note and it hangs in my office so I see it every day.
thenextstep84 wrote:What should I do?

Live on this site and keep asking questions. You've got some good starting points already so keep reading. I guarantee, no matter how bad you've got it, someone here has lived through it, and worse, already.
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Re: I fired my attorney tonight...

Unread postby dad2grls » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:52 pm

thenextstep84 wrote:I had a problem with alcohol (just using a lot) when I was married to her (trust me, you'd drink too)


Wrong. Not everyone uses alcohol as a crutch in times of crisis.

That's on you and you need to own this, it has nothing to do with your exwife.
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