The effects of Karma

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The effects of Karma

Unread postby nr552 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 11:22 am

Well... for you guys out there that feel like they got (or actually got) shafted in your divorce, I wanted to share the wave of Karma that my ex has experienced for her BS.

Basic timeline.

Married for 15 years 8 months (together for 20)... She cheated with some guy she knew from Jr. High. I figured it out, and filed for divorce.

She tried to take away our son from me (claimed I was a bad father, tried to take him to Mexico with her boyfriend). All of that was stopped by me (took his passport, put him on the no travel list), filed declarations to the court of my involvement with our son (which got her attorney to back off). -- She got fired from her job intentionally so she could collect unemployment, live with her boyfriend and his parents, and try to get MORE spousal support from me. -- None of that worked. -- I have had equal 50/50 parenting time since day #1

She co-habituated for 3 years before I pulled the trigger on getting it terminated, initial order was for 8 years, but I was partially successful-- had it reduced to zero modifiable (by agreement).

Two years later went back for another parenting mod-- unsuccessful.

The following year my son didn't want to see me. I didn't see him over the summer-- they moved out of the only address I had for her. Finally school started, I got to speak with my son (14)... mom was there coaching him on what to say. I was able to finally convince him that I wasn't going to stop coming to his school, I loved him, but I would be a thorn in his butt if he didn't at least give things a try-- He agreed, then it seemed a ton of pressure/stress was let out as we got his stuff from the place his mom was couch surfing--- She had been kicked out of the place she had lived in for giving oxy, to someone who didn't have a prescription that lived in that house, who happened to be the land lords son, who happened to have an addiction to oxy that he was nearly over--- so she was couch surfing the entire summer, sent our son to live with his friend and his friend's dad, and he didn't want mom to get in trouble... :roll: I filed Ex Parte request the following day, had paperwork prepared by my paralegal-- notified my ex of the hearing in 2 days-- she hung up, never showed for the ex parte (I got sole custody on temp orders).

Had mediation before the hearing, and the mediator didn't give a rats < hindquarters > about anything the ex had done. The recommendation was 50/50 still, but a 2/2/3 schedule vs. week on/week off. I agreed to the recommendation but not until the ex had a place with a bedroom for our son. -- until then she would be EOW mom.

11 months go by, I've had our son for 96% of the time. Mom didn't exercise her parenting time weekends on a regular basis. Would see our son maybe every couple of months on weekends (1 day), but had more contact picking him up from school and dropping off at home (our home). She filed contempt charges against me for non-payment of child support. I had changed jobs and thought it was coming out of my paycheck (I got a serious salary bump, and assumed-- never assume it'll bite you in the < hindquarters >). Ended up owing her $5k + $500 in interest, began a repayment plan of $750 a month, plus requested the status-quo parenting plan be put into an order-- EOW for mom (plus she can see him any day she wants as long as he's home by 7 pm during the week/homework completed). To get her at agree she wanted more $$$ than the $5500--- I explained that $750 a month would be repaid within ~7.5 months-- plus I had paid her $750 the month prior... and rounded the entire amount to $10k. --- she went ahead and agreed with the dollar signs visible in her stare. I'm paying her $4500 extra $$ to drop the contempt charges, allow me to take care of our son, I have been, and will continue to pay for 100% of everything for him-- medical/dental (including braces which are almost done), clothing, food, etc.

I'm half way done with my payments. My salary since the divorce was final ~6 years ago, has increased approx. $44k, I am happily remarried (together for 7, married for 2.5 years), my son is doing good in school -- 1.5 years until he graduates from HS-> then college or trades school-- whatever he wants to do.

I initially wished for karma-- but relaxed that thought after a few years--- the DGAF attitude helped a ton, and this forum gave me enough information to do a majority of this battle on me own.

Even when I was appointed counsel for the contempt charges-- the attorney was impressed on what I had accomplished, and that I negotiated with my ex/and her attorney-- enough so that it only required a couple of "what if" touches to get exactly what I wanted-- Iron clad.

My ex is unemployed, is in an abusive relationship with boyfriend #4 or #5 since her affair, will be completely screwed come April 2018 when my bi-weekly payment stops. --- I think she's living in her car right now.

Don't with for Karma-- it'll get there.
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Re: The effects of Karma

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Oct 03, 2017 12:00 pm

I'm one who thinks that spending time thinking about karma is a waste of time. Leaving aside that it's supernatural mumbo-jumbo, not GAF is a much more rational and effective way to switch off the emotions (which usually lead one to yearn for the X to get what's coming to her).

My X torched the trust with an affair and continued < feces-like > behavior, and now she is married (not to the affair guy) and living what seems to be a decent and happy life. I don't pay attention, but I am close with my kids, and this is their mother, so I learn stuff peripherally.

So whatever you think of karma, it doesn't really happen like that in all cases. The sun rises, sets, and shines on the just and unjust.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: The effects of Karma

Unread postby nr552 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 3:58 pm

Well, I don't dwell on karma-- just looked at it as bad things will come to bad people in some form or fashion.
In this case-- that seems to be happening.

Hope for the best plan for the worst, that's my motto.
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Re: The effects of Karma

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Tue Oct 03, 2017 4:05 pm

I roll my eyes when people bring up religion or karma. It's nonsense.

But I do love seeing people get what they deserve.
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Re: The effects of Karma

Unread postby Trevor » Tue Oct 03, 2017 5:01 pm

lovingfatherof2 wrote:But I do love seeing people get what they deserve.

The film industry has thrived on this expectation for decades, and literature for centuries.
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: The effects of Karma

Unread postby mr_orange » Tue Oct 03, 2017 5:11 pm

I honestly wish my STBX well with her new life and couldn't care less if she ends up with her current affair partner or someone else. The statistics for the likelihood of her ending up with the affair partner are pretty bleak.

I just hope she ends up with someone that isn't a big enough d-bag to cheat with a married woman with 3 kids. It will be interesting to see what happens.
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Re: The effects of Karma

Unread postby nr552 » Wed Oct 04, 2017 10:08 am

Karma-- fate, $hit happens... I'm not a religious person (never go to church), don't necessarily think karma is a real thing-- I look at it as basic "odds of things happening" to someone if they do good, and if the do bad things in their life (either to themselves or to others).

Recently my kid did some stupid teenager stuff, so I have taken his cellphone away. His mother is angry she can't txt him night and day. I told her she can call our house phone (I had to look up the number as I never use it).

Last night my son's mom called while our son was setting up some Halloween decorations outside-- and my wife answered the phone. My wife was nice, and my ex was a complete raging (female dog).

Funny (and I say that light heartedly) how things have changed in 7 years. I was over the bitterness a long time ago. Just sharing how things can change for guys who are going through (or about to) the big D, and know that things will change (and hopefully improve for them and their kids). I too wish my ex would get her $hit together--- our son would appreciate it.
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Re: The effects of Karma

Unread postby Me_and_my_boys » Mon Oct 09, 2017 7:02 pm

OP, your ex seems to be creating tremendous problems for herself and everyone around her. Hopefully someday she will open her eyes. Great job being there for your son.
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Re: The effects of Karma

Unread postby nr552 » Tue Oct 24, 2017 10:59 am

Me_and_my_boys wrote:OP, your ex seems to be creating tremendous problems for herself and everyone around her. Hopefully someday she will open her eyes. Great job being there for your son.


She'll never change. The intensity and frequency of her "issues" is growing. There's DV case against her live in boyfriend apparently-- and they are still together.

Her dad has $$$ and when he is gone (within the next 10-20 years) whatever $$$ she gets will most likely be blown/spent by whomever she's hooked up with. The clock is ticking on my monthly allotment payment to her.. Once that's done, no more $$$ from me, and she has no job. Good luck.
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Re: The effects of Karma

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Tue Oct 24, 2017 11:23 am

nr552 wrote:The clock is ticking on my monthly allotment payment to her.. Once that's done, no more $$$ from me, and she has no job. Good luck.

No CS?
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