Thanks! This is a good place for straight talk for sure, and a place to see the arc of other guys' stories. I've gained some experience and perspective just from these forums.
As for making decisions on emotions, I guess that's a worthwhile point, because I don't have emotions concerning my wife or divorce at the moment. It's a business. I sold my emotional-investment stock a while ago. Admittedly, I do feel neighborly compassion for my wife, like, I care if she's alright, don't want to cause trouble, like I would anyone else. But, I'm not afraid of her, or lawyers, or divorce, or stigma, peer pressure, or poverty, any more. I have learned enough, and gotten good enough, to ride above her personality disordered behavior. She no longer gets to stay rent-free in my head space.
My (in)decision has been anything but rash. One reason I still consider divorce is that this is not the life I want to check out with. But, I've stopped the pain and damage short term.
Si vis pacem, para bellum.
A father's love is like the NOAA weather radio - always the same message, always broadcasting, and available everywhere your kids might go. See to it brothers.