Way back in the day I didn’t have a clue what BPD was even though I had been married to one for years, much less the term ‘hoovering’, if it had even been coined by then . Hoovering isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It bought me a house.
I married my first wife right out of high school. No kids, lots of disposable income and we lived a pretty wild life until things broke down so far that we got a divorce. She remarried pretty soon thereafter and had a kid and I went on with the wild single life and never gave a thought to looking back. I was happy being single, plenty of disposable income and a party to go to every night when the weirdest coincidence/ supernatural event or whatever you want to call it happened to me.
I woke up one morning, stumbled into the living room and told my roommate and friend about the weird dream I had just woke up from. “ Effing weird, dude. I just had a dream that me and first wife were back together. I haven’t even thought about that biatch in years. Crazy.”
One week later I get a phone call.
Apparently her husband had just tragically died (A whole story in itself) , around the time of the dream ,and left her a large amount of insurance money. Her intro back to me was that she knew that I had always been good with money and she had no idea what she should do with such a large amount. Put it in the bank? Buy stocks? She wanted my help.
Within a week I’m spending the nights over at her house and within 3 months she had bought me a new ZX-7 and we were house shopping. She put down the down payment on the house and we lived there about 4 months before she started being a biatch again, we started back to arguing and I told her to get out. She didn’t seem to think that was fair but I made it clear I wasn’t going anywhere, my name was on the title and mortgage and she could take her kid and GTFO before the party started, which she did.
After some negotiations, she showed up about two weeks later with some dude to move out about half of the new furnishings we (she) had purchased and sign a quit claim to the house. She stayed on that mortgage for 8 years until I finally sold that house.
Lesson, if you’re going to get hoovered, make it work for you.