How to move on - Should I

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: How to move on - Should I

Unread postby Minerva » Sat Feb 10, 2018 9:42 am

Think of 1-2 things you've always wanted to do but couldn't because of your marriage...then go do it.

One of the hardest parts of being codependent is that you don't value yourself, so it's difficult to be alone because then you're forced to look inward and pay attention to your own shortcomings. When you are with someone else your brain screams pleasure because you're not being confronted with stress about having to deal with your issues.

Getting involved with women now would be suicide. You need to learn to love yourself first and develop your own personality and boundaries.
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Re: How to move on - Should I

Unread postby casper646 » Sat Feb 10, 2018 11:05 am

Well I'm not ready, that's for sure. I didn't know if it would good for my daughter or not as she seemed to want that for me for either seeing me be happy or the other thought that there's a "helper" so I'm not taking care of 2 kids and the house at the same time, and things would be more like they used to be when we lived together as a whole family.

What I take away, and adding in my own twist:
1. Don't because my daughter said something
2. Don't because a friend who is a girl says I need a girlfriend because she won't do everything since she's engaged
3. I am not ready if the only person I see myself with is my ex. I truly feel that's it for me, and not another one will come along.
4. Though I don't believe I could move on from #3, I'm not healthy enough anyway for mainly reasons stated in #3
5. If I did, it would be for the wrong reasons anyway - to have the one thing in this life I actually care about, coming home to family; kids & wife type thing.
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Re: How to move on - Should I

Unread postby Trevor » Sat Feb 10, 2018 2:49 pm

What worries me most is the vibe that your little kid is picking up: her dad is in so pathetic a condition that she thinks she needs to fix you. Why doesn't his bother you more?

You need to pay attention to how you act around your kids and what you say within earshot. It's on you that your kid thinks you're depressed and, in her undeveloped brain, she thinks the answer is a new wife. It's on you that your kid thinks you can't handle running the show with a few kids around. WFTU man.

With a little bit more thought you could double your list of why you shouldn't get involved with a woman for at least another year.

I suggest that you need to figure out a few more things to care about in life besides some idyllic family that no longer exists for you. Don't you think the kids are worth this attitude adjustment?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: How to move on - Should I

Unread postby Minerva » Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:53 am

Where your head needs to be:

1. I can do this my damn self.
2. My life is so f*cking awesome that I'm going to be careful about who I let into it.

Get passionate about some stuff of YOURS. Make your life your own. You don't need a woman to define you or the quality of your life.
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