Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby Me_and_my_boys » Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:35 am

All solid points. I'm on the fence. Will report back. Thanks.
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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby Phoenix853 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 11:02 am

Yep, I'd do it. More time with the kids and a chance to document (if I were trying for more time).

i do like the idea of taking to the library or McD's for dinner. Living room table doing homework is less distracting though.

Depends on your relationship with stbs/Ex. Just don't trip and fall in your stbs/ex (have sex).
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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby HaltAndCatchFire » Thu Feb 01, 2018 1:03 pm

Georgia mandates a four-hour class for divorcing parents. One of the primary takeaways from that class is never enter your ex's residence. The TLDR: There's far too much risk and little reward for doing so. I also don't have a reasonable ex, so even without the class takeaway, I wouldn't do it.
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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby steelmark » Thu Feb 01, 2018 1:15 pm

My ex occasionally asks to do this at my house, and I’m just not comfortable with it.

“I can hang out with the kids” and I reply by saying “you’re welcome to take them somewhere”.

Writing this makes me feel like maybe I need to grow up on this one, but the idea just makes me uncomfortable.
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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby kidscomefirst550 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 1:47 pm

Good fences make good neighbors. Boundaries are very helpful.
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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby Chaos » Thu Feb 01, 2018 1:57 pm

I've never been in my ex's house and she's never been in mine. That's how I'd like to keep it.

Before we moved here she used to hang out with the kids at my house sometimes, until I realized she was stealing all my < feces >.
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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby a dad » Thu Feb 01, 2018 6:25 pm

Bringing both points together,

Early on, my ex walked in my house, went to my girls closet and started grabbing a bunch of their clothes.

What would you do?

Well, without a word I went to the kitchen and grabbed her a large trash bag for her to put the clothes in.

Next time, I stood at the door and didn't let her pass. I did this a few times until she got the hint.

Years later, she may come in when invited by me, like when the kids aren't ready yet, and things are going fine. She now knows there are consequences for her actions.

So if you do it, op, respect her stuff.
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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby Me_and_my_boys » Fri Feb 02, 2018 12:52 pm

I decided to enter the house and remain in the doorway because S10 didn't feel comfortable changing clothes in there alone. He grabbed what he needed and we left within five minutes. I took them for pizza and then the comic book store before returning to school for the event. It all worked out just fine.

In the end, I just didn't feel comfortable hanging out there, even though I initially agreed to it. Maybe in a few years. Who knows. But at this point there are too many opportunities for problems/conflicts to arise, and I chose to err on the side of caution. As always, thanks for the input. Much appreciated!
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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby Trevor » Fri Feb 02, 2018 1:37 pm

Gotta trust your daddy instincts. Open to new ideas and willing to test your assumptions. Well played.
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Re: Staying at ex's place w/kids (while she's at work)

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Feb 02, 2018 2:07 pm

Me_and_my_boys wrote:.....I just didn't feel comfortable hanging out there, even though I initially agreed to it.
Trust your gut, Bro. In this game, you reserve the right to change your mind; even for little or no reason.

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