Alimony ending due to ex being remarried - what do i do?

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Alimony ending due to ex being remarried - what do i do?

Unread postby dad2grls » Fri Jan 12, 2018 12:30 pm

TJinCA wrote:Not a lawyer, but I don't see where you need to get any "proof" or file anything with the court. You've already got an order that says that your obligation ends on her remarriage, so once you're confident that the marriage has taken place you can just stop paying.

What's she going to do? Take you to court and try to prove she's not married, when it's a matter of public record? Seems like that would be stupid on her part.


I second this. If there's a wedding, especially one that your children are attending, once it's taken place, your obligation to her is satisfied.

What's she going to do? Petition the courts for spousal support, drag you into the courtroom and say "He's not paying his support!" at which point you'd say "Um, there was a WEDDING, you exchanged vows during the CEREMONY, you had a celebration that lots of people attended, our children were there, and here's exhibit A which shows the part of our divorce decree that states "alimony ends on remarriage of the recipient".

Then you'd request the court pay your legal fees since the motion was frivolous to start with.

But of course none of that is going to happen, your ex-wife foolishly is putting a second marriage, one that is highly likely to fail, above the importance of the support you will no longer be paying.

Consider yourself fortunate.

Also realize if the marriage fails after a short period of time she can petition for reinstatement of support.

Also realize that if child support is being paid it may be subject to upward adjustment with discontinuation of spousal support.
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Re: Alimony ending due to ex being remarried - what do i do?

Unread postby Chicyn2001 » Tue Jan 16, 2018 9:45 am

Had a friend go through this exact thing. He wanted to make sure there were no problems so he just called his lawyer for advice on how to go about it so there was no argument from the ex. Not saying you have to talk to a lawyer by any means but my friend just wanted to make sure he did things legally. His attorney just told him the steps to take and my friend was able to do it all on his own. He was able to obtain a copy of the marriage certificate and submitted it to the clerk's office with a copy of the divorce decree. It was filed and it was done. Like most others have said, she really doesn't have an argument. A simple call to the county clerk could probably answer all your questions.
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Re: Alimony ending due to ex being remarried - what do i do?

Unread postby 44holby » Tue Jan 16, 2018 3:57 pm

Thanks for everyone advise. This is what I am planning to do.

First let me state that my decree does state that upon remarriage, termination of spousal support will take place. Secondly, I pay her outside of the system. I send her an electronic fund transfer each month - so there is really no court system happening that would flag or garnish wages from my salary to stop. i can just simply stop when i need to or desire.

I am planning to send her a letter / email after the wedding date stating the following:
-----------------------------
The kids have told me that you are getting remarried on XXXX, 2018. Congratulations.

I wanted to share my intentions of finalizing the spousal support obligations within our divorce decree. According to the decree, the spousal support obligations will terminate with your remarriage. I will continue to provide you with the court ordered monthly amount of $XXXXXX/month until XXXXX 2018. I will then provide you a pro-rated amount, XX of XX days for the month of XXXXX, which would be an amount of $XXXX. This final payment will satisfy the requirements of the decree in full and no further payments will be tendered.

Again, congratulations and let me know if you have any questions.
-----------------------------------

Then, i plan to acquire a copy of the marriage certificate, send it along with the decree to the Courts to have filled.

That is my plan and I don't think anything further is needed. And THANK GOD!!!
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Re: Alimony ending due to ex being remarried - what do i do?

Unread postby lionel2013 » Tue Jan 16, 2018 4:28 pm

Then, i plan to acquire a copy of the marriage certificate, send it along with the decree to the Courts to have filled.


Not often, but it happens: some people choose to marry in church but not legally, so no strings really attached. Not often, but it does happen [and i know of at least one concrete example]. So if I were you I would get a copy of the marriage certificate first, then stop paying. Because if she does not get married officially, to the Court she is not married. She may be, in her eyes, to her husband, friends and family, but not to the court.

If she indeed is married officially then i would not bother to go to court and file anything - just inform her you will stop the payments, that's it.
Whenever you think divorce is bad, remember there are worse things than divorce.
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Re: Alimony ending due to ex being remarried - what do i do?

Unread postby dad2grls » Tue Jan 16, 2018 5:28 pm

44holby wrote: Secondly, I pay her outside of the system. I send her an electronic fund transfer each month - so there is really no court system happening that would flag or garnish wages from my salary to stop. i can just simply stop when i need to or desire.


All the more reason to stay out of the system. There are some posters on here who advocate paying support (primarily child support) using a government agency because it's "safer" but I see it as a needless hurdle that must be fixed via a court order when there's time for a modification.

44holby wrote: I am planning to send her a letter / email


Why send anything? Just adjust the support and make a final payment with a notation "final payment, prorated as necessary for month of wedding".

I certainly wouldn't send anything BEFORE the wedding. What if she doesn't realize she's giving up that money and says "wait a second let's postpone the wedding to get more cash out of my ex".
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Re: Alimony ending due to ex being remarried - what do i do?

Unread postby Broken Machine » Wed Jan 17, 2018 1:38 pm

I agree with not sending her any sort of communication prior to the wedding and especially not before you obtain a record of their marriage. Hell, scope the local papers and see if they list marriages somewhere. I once found a link to a local newspaper that listed my divorce when the STBX filed. So there is that as well.
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