Holidays trumping set A/B schedule

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Holidays trumping set A/B schedule

Unread postby skiutah » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:24 pm

I have 2/5 (A and B weeks) schedule with ex in Utah. I am not sure if I am using the right terms. Just finished with stipulation and judicial decree end of summer and am starting to run into the problems of having holidays fall on my 5 day schedule, like Thanksgiving for example. I feel like this should be an easy answer, but my attorney has ignored my emails (probably since she returned the rest of my retainer).


Question is best as an example:

Example:
Week 1: Week A--2 day
Week 2: Week B--5 day (holiday is ex's this year, so I don't see them that period).

Is this week 3, an A week or B week?

At first, I thought it was still an A week, but I feel like I am oddly running into a lot of these situations. I assume next year it will correct, but I was looking out at the calendar and it seems like some of these could persist each year.

Maybe, I am not describing this well. Thanks for the help.

Btw, I haven't ever posted, but this board really helped me throughout the entire process. Kudos to everyone who posts...!!
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Re: Holidays trumping set A/B schedule

Unread postby Outis » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:28 pm

Welcome to the forum, and what you described makes sense.

It would be an A week, even if that means you miss out on a little time.

How old are the kids, and what are their genders?
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Re: Holidays trumping set A/B schedule

Unread postby skiutah » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:51 pm

4 kids, 11, 8, 5, and 4 months old. G, G, G, B.

Thanks. That made sense to me initially, but over the past three weeks, I have only seen them for 4 overnights, basically two A weeks, so I am slightly frustrated.
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Re: Holidays trumping set A/B schedule

Unread postby Outis » Tue Dec 05, 2017 2:53 pm

I'm guessing you lost on time due to Thanksgiving? What's your holiday schedule look like?
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Re: Holidays trumping set A/B schedule

Unread postby skiutah » Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:00 pm

Yes, it was over thanksgiving. The holiday schedule is merely the standard Utah split. I guess this sort of thing just works out next year when holidays flip, but Thanksgiving will be mine next year, but with standard A/B weeks, that week should be my long week anyway, so it won't really give me the extra time that she got this year. Maybe there will reversed situations with other holidays coming up.
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Re: Holidays trumping set A/B schedule

Unread postby Minerva » Tue Dec 05, 2017 3:11 pm

Can you and the ex work it out on paper?

You should try and define future holidays if possible. For thanksgiving stipulate what happens in both scenarios, same for christmas. You may also want to stipulate mothers day and fathers day.
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Re: Holidays trumping set A/B schedule

Unread postby skiutah » Wed Dec 06, 2017 1:02 pm

Thanks for the replies. The holidays are worked out by Utah statute, and are fairly fair. I think I am ok with the A/B situation and just keeping it the same even if holidays make me miss my long week, since it will correct over time. Was just a little frustrating over the past three weeks and I wanted to make sure I was interpreting it correctly. Thanks for your help.
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Re: Holidays trumping set A/B schedule

Unread postby TeflonDad » Wed Dec 20, 2017 10:58 am

A couple of things about holidays. Most school holidays (i.e. federal) are on Mondays. Thanksgiving is always on Thursday. The holidays on fixed days of the month (BIRTHDAYS! and July 4th, December 25th, January 1st, etc) float on a seven-year cycle, backing up a day each year. i.e. if it is on Monday this year, it will be on Sunday next year.

Here's what I put into my parenting plan. It may not be too late to add or get uncontested agreement to modify your existing order.

Stipulate that if your holiday - or special occasion (kid birthdays, both your birthdays, family reunions, etc) - schedule overrides the existing A/B schedule of the other parent, then you both agree to relinquish your NEXT A/B period in exchange ("make-up") for the holiday override you are receiving from the other parent.

i.e. it bakes in a equal trade for both parents equally, with automatic terms. My Thanksgiving trumps your weekend, then I give up my next weekend. Since I would have had the weekend before Thanksgiving, that means I don't get three weekends in a row. Instead, it means that I would get two weekends in a row, then you get two weekends in a row.

It sets a clear pattern and resolution for really any kind of scheduling changes going forward. Need the ex's weekend to take the kid to a special event only on that weekend? Offer up a trade, just like you already do for the holidays using the same mechanism.

The good news is that if you bake in equal trades for time you lose to holidays and special occasions (always include an "or as otherwise agreed to changes in the schedule" clause to cover those), the stress of negotiating your weekend in advance is much lower because the remedy is spelled out in the orders. And neither can argue that they're being "screwed" or that it is unfair. It's right there in the orders. You take my weekend for a holiday, I get your next regular weekend. Simple.
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