Custody in VA

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Mon Dec 04, 2017 12:16 pm

Update.

Went to court Venue was granted here where I petitioned so she will now have to travel 4 hours to argue her case here in my county.

Judge was pretty adamant They lived her, went to school here and have all the same things she is "attempting" to establish in her new local, and that they have been there 3 months and "thriving" as she states doesn't mean anything to the return of them here.

So far her petitions have been dismissed
and now her motion to transfer venue has been denied

Counting the small victories.

She has now turned into a devil even more and is severely limiting my contact and lying about times and activities to deny me access. An example would be this past weekend she told me I could have them, She had to work 8am-11pm, but told me I could get them from her mom at 12 and return them by 4, even though I have first right of refusal, then tried saying thy had "cousin" activities planned. I sat at a nieghbor friends house and watched, they never left or did anything, I addressed her about it, and she said, I can't hold her accountable that her Aunt never came to get them. I booked a hotel room in the area to see them just to be denied time while she worked, that she promised. I am now being limited to no FaceTime and only phone calls to less than 10 minutes a night/day. Clear retaliation for court.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Dec 04, 2017 1:52 pm

It's not enough to go to court, Bro. You need a well-orchestrated game plan.

Unless you have a temporary parenting plan Bro, her games will continue. You can get an emergency parenting plan in ex parte.

ratty2009 wrote:She has now turned into a devil even more and is severely limiting my contact and lying about times and activities to deny me access. An example would be this past weekend she told me I could have them, She had to work 8am-11pm, but told me I could get them from her mom at 12 and return them by 4, even though I have first right of refusal, then tried saying thy had "cousin" activities planned. I sat at a neighbor friends house and watched, they never left or did anything, I addressed her about it, and she said, I can't hold her accountable that her Aunt never came to get them. I booked a hotel room in the area to see them just to be denied time while she worked, that she promised. I am now being limited to no FaceTime and only phone calls to less than 10 minutes a night/day. Clear retaliation for court.
She's walking all over you. I can tell by the verbiage of your post, you still haven't read The List, have you?? It's important that you do. You'll remain stuck behind the 8-ball if you don't - guaranteed.

We've walked this road ahead of you, Bro. We know, with a great deal of certainty, what to expect. You need to take what we tell you seriously. As you are finding out, the rules are, "There are no rules."

The gloves come off, Bro. Take her to the mat. No more Mr Nice Guy.

Tom
Like football, family court is a game of inches. A John Madden strategy
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Dec 06, 2017 9:20 am

so did you document that issue in your journal? Did you keep receipts for proof?

That will be possibly one in many data points that will show a correlation that you will be prepared to elevator pitch to the judge.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby Started Over » Wed Dec 06, 2017 12:38 pm

Have you motioned/petitioned for return of the child to the child's home?
People who live their lives watching only the rearview mirror tend to crash their cars. - Trevor
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:40 am

I petitioned for custody first, and we are asking for the Judge to have them returned and me granted physical custody.
In Virginia you can only get an emergency custody order in cases of abuse and neglect and must have evidence at filing and its only good for 3 days until you go before a judge. you must essentially play the long game.

I did in fact read the list, and a lot applies, but most does not. Our property settlement is completed, and you can not file Ex parte for emergency etc.

I keep a very detailed journal and record everything, that is what has helped me so far. I must stop engaging her in her crazy. It is hard. She continues to withhold and I know that will hurt her in the long run.

Our agreement is not an order from the judge but notarized by both of us, and she continues to breach it, but a Judge will use it as a basis for our behaviors moving forward for him to decide an agreement . My lawyer wants to request a GAL, the judge does not appoint or allow one unless I as the plaintiff request it..... Thoughts?
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Dec 11, 2017 1:12 pm

ratty2009 wrote:I did in fact read the list, and a lot applies, but most does not.
Use what works, ignore the rest. The same holds true with advice from this forum.

Here's the deal: Advice in The List is not necessarily about do's and don't's. It's more about principles, concepts, and strategies (this include tactics and maneuvers) that can be applied to a variety of situations.

Think of it this way: Does everything in The List apply to you?? No!! Does everything in VA’s family law statutes apply to you?? NO!!

Bottom line: It's incumbent upon you to manage your case personally, proactively, and preemptively. You should apply principles in The List to your situation. You should also study VA’s family law and become familiar with everything that applies to you. The more prepared you become, the better you'll be able to manage your attorney.

And BTW, don't expect your attorney to handle everything, because he can't - and indeed, he won't.

ratty2009 wrote:Our agreement is not an order from the judge but notarized by both of us.....
Make no mistake Bro, your agreement is worthless.

ratty2009 wrote:.....and she continues to breach it.....
She's a rule breaker, Bro. This is a strong indication how she's gonna behave:
1) During the divorce process
2 After divorce is finalized.

With this in mind, you should prepare your well-orchestrated game plan accordingly.

ratty2009 wrote:.....a Judge will use it as a basis for our behaviors moving forward for him to decide an agreement.
Somebody's feeding you lip service, Bro. Who told you that?? Suppose this line of thinking fails to work as planned. What will you do then?? Have you got back-up??.....like Plan-B??

Didn't anyone tell you??....like your attorney??.....Until you have a court-ordered parenting plan, you have just as much right to parent your kids as she does. In other words, you could simply pick up your kids, bring them to the marital residence (even keep them secreted from her) and there'd be nothing she could do about it.

You've gotta learn to play hardball, Bro. The rules are, "There are no rules."

Tom
Like football, family court is a game of inches. A John Madden strategy
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby massdad1234 » Mon Dec 11, 2017 8:45 pm

your agreement is worthless, however the status quo you have capitulated is priceless.
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