Custody in VA

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby Me_and_my_boys » Sun Nov 26, 2017 12:13 pm

ratty2009 wrote:I am half tempted to not return them to her and enroll them in school on Monday back here.


I did this one Sunday afternoon. The ex banged on the door and windows for an hour, then called the police. They came, questioned us both (she filed a report), and left. The kids remained with me. My refusal to release them that day was stressful, but it sent an important message.

What will you do?
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Sun Nov 26, 2017 1:02 pm

What happened in court after?
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby Me_and_my_boys » Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:23 pm

ratty2009 wrote:What happened in court after?


Nothing. There were no temp orders in place, so I was well within my rights -- just as your STBX is within her rights as she continues to disregard your agreement.

"Divorce favors the bold" is a common phrase around here, and you're experiencing it firsthand. But there are always opportunities for a reversal.

As has been mentioned, you may want to assess the playing field as it is right now -- not as it was -- and begin strategizing from the present moment.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:30 pm

Ok I understand that, what do you think focusing on the present would entail any advice would be appreciated because I no longer am sitting back
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby Me_and_my_boys » Sun Nov 26, 2017 3:00 pm

I believe the gentlemen here have already provided this information, but I'll reiterate.

Since it's already scheduled, you attend court Thursday for the change of venue. If you win (unlikely, due to status quo), great. If she wins, you begin actively preparing for relocation.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Sun Nov 26, 2017 3:31 pm

Hopefully the venue change will stay. I've made the choice if I keep venue that I will enroll them and keep them up here until a court order is in place. If it's not I will start putting the job applications out. I filed where they resided the prior 6 months to the courts well before status qou was even started.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby Havalu7 » Sun Nov 26, 2017 4:31 pm

Bro just a word for you; Hope is not a strategy.
"No." is a complete sentence.

Do not move out of your house.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Nov 29, 2017 11:00 am

If I were you, I would begin actively preparing relocation now. Chances are you won't win, so better to be well started on your relocation plan by the time you see court.

Best option is "I moved 5 minutes away your honor, no reason why I should not have 50/50"

Otherwise, you will throw good money after bad, the battle was already won, you allowed your children to move 4 hours away and didn't intervene immediately.

Not only that, but pulling them out of school in the middle of the year would be a tough best interest argument when you already allowed it.

The time to contest has past, your primary focus should be to relocate and learn this valuable lesson - never take legal advice from your Ex, status quo is the biggest obstacle in most cases, which is why we advocate to never leave the marital home or where the children are located.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:00 pm

Hi,

So I did petition for custody before they left, And the intake officer said, they will be returned and try not to put them in the middle, I just have to be patient to go before a judge. She threatened to pull them out of school if I kept them and put them in the middle, which I am not ok with. I decided to just fight it in court as I petitioned to fight it before, but the court process takes FOREVER. I am prepared to move this summer if needed, and we do have an agreement that if I move within 40 miles, we go 50/50 everything.

I will be taking it further if it happens that I don't have them returned in court, and buying a home in their school zone. She is currently planning a move over christmas break which is going to be another move, so the girls are making a move this winter break regardless.

We go tomorrow as she is trying to get venue of my petitions moved to her current area, I will post an update tomorrow night.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby Havalu7 » Wed Nov 29, 2017 12:44 pm

Dude ALWAYS ALWAYS go to court.
"No." is a complete sentence.

Do not move out of your house.
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