Custody in VA

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:56 pm

How connected is the mother to this new community - is it her parents, or the paramour?
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 2:57 pm

its where she grew up and she is living at her parents there
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:00 pm

My plan is to ask for them to be returned, to go to the same schools (where I teach) and to have the exact same lifestyle they had. I am asking for shared physical custody, but want them to live with me and attend schools. My 8yo wants to go back to her old school
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:02 pm

Bad plan. Genie out of the bottle and all that. Your actions have proven that this is acceptable to you and that means it becomes Status Quo.

Know how that phrase is defined legally?
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:05 pm

I petitioned prior to school starting as I wanted to stop them from starting, I asked the intake officer if I should just keep them and send them to their normal schools the first day, and he said not to traumatize them and handle it in court. was that a fatal mistake?
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:13 pm

It’s more of a life lesson.

They always go home to their parents when you move them away and start making babies.

You can’t fight that. It’s like saying you have free will, but you really don’t - yet you better live your life like you do.

Some flexibility might be necessary, in a psychological sense. Knowing what I know, I wish I could find an explaination within the limits of language that would move you to accept that this is her goal and she won, that commitment to your children will be to get there now and prevent the next move.

You can spend a ton of money on your goal, or just accept it and move there this summer - right next door to the kids school and right smack dab in the middle of their lives.

Have you done a cost/benefit analysis of this goal?
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 3:33 pm

This is not re-assuring. I have spent a great amount of money and time.

How do you guys predict this working out in terms of parenting plan.

We currently have a notarized agreement (not court order) that states as close to 50/50 as possible with time and distance.

She has offered.

2 phone calls per week
2 weekends per month
rotate holidays

split all breaks 50/50

basically the school year time with her counts for nothing and we split all "off" time evenly with only 2 communications er week.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 4:25 pm

I believe what's being conveyed is that a better return on investment is to move right where they are going to school now. From there you will be able to ensure at least 50% of the nights with children, but you can prevent a future move away.
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby BartSimpson » Tue Nov 21, 2017 5:21 pm

What she is offering is completely unacceptable.

However, it is what you will end up with if you pursue this long-distance parenting plan.

I get that your mind is worried about the sunk costs you have invested - it will never get cheaper. What does your heart say?
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Re: Custody in VA

Unread postby ratty2009 » Tue Nov 21, 2017 5:24 pm

Bart,

I am not worried about the costs what so ever. Money is fleeting. I am in a good place financially, and she signed away alimony and spousal support, all she is entitled to is CS.

So you think her offer is what it will turn into for a parenting plan with a distance? I want the summers, if she is to retain and be the physical custodian. is it appropriate for me to ask for 8 weeks of the 12 week summer?
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