I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

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I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby Beatandtired » Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:49 pm

I've got 50/50 shared placement and shared custody am I still considered the "Non custodial parent"
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Re: I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Mon Nov 13, 2017 1:37 pm

Beatandtired wrote:I've got 50/50 shared placement and shared custody am I still considered the "Non custodial parent"
We need to know the specifics of your current order. Who pays child support?? Who is residential parent for school purposes?? Who gets IRS, Head of Household deductions?? Do you have parenting time at least 183 overnights per year?? Etc.

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Re: I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby Beatandtired » Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:40 pm

I pay support, I have them 182.5 days a year. I'm not sure who residential parent for school purposes. The school calls us both when they need anything, the school sends us both grades. The courts have not stated anything about who gets IRS hOH
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Re: I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby gamingdad » Mon Nov 13, 2017 6:57 pm

What does your decree say for school placement and stuff?
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Re: I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby NorthStar » Mon Nov 13, 2017 8:47 pm

If not stated in current order the parent with 183 ‘over nights stays’ ( or more ) will be eligible for tax deduction. The government does not recognize half days. This usually means each parents could be eligible every other year

Beatandtired wrote:I've got 50/50 shared placement and shared custody am I still considered the "Non custodial parent"
in the eyes of the Child-Support agency the one ordered to pay CS is considered non-custodial.

* edited to correct typo on the number of overnight stays.
Last edited by NorthStar on Wed Nov 15, 2017 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby quantum » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:34 pm

NorthStar wrote:the parent with 133 ‘over nights stays’ ( or more ) will be eligible for tax deduction.


This isn't correct. The IRS clearly defines that child should be atleast 183 days to claim the child on taxes and be HoH
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Re: I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:47 pm

Beatandtired wrote:I have them 182.5 days a year.
In terms of determining custodial parent "status," overnights are what count for IRS tax deductions and Head of Household (requires 183 overnights) - unless, of course, your decree states otherwise AND IRS Form 8332 has been signed; granting even vs odd year tax deductions.

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Re: I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby TJinCA » Tue Nov 14, 2017 5:15 pm

quantum wrote:
NorthStar wrote:the parent with 133 ‘over nights stays’ ( or more ) will be eligible for tax deduction.


This isn't correct. The IRS clearly defines that child should be atleast 183 days to claim the child on taxes and be HoH


I suspect that 133 was a typo and should have been 183.

That said, I believe that tax status (which may or may not directly relate to physical custody) and legal custody status (who has authority to make life decisions about health, education, welfare, etc.) are two entirely different things.

And I know that attorneys and courts are sometimes sloppy and the parties often don't pay attention to the details, but seriously, how can it be that legal custody of the child(ren) is not clearly and unambiguously spelled out in the divorce decree?
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Re: I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby mgtowthatish » Wed Dec 20, 2017 9:32 am

NorthStar wrote:If not stated in current order the parent with 183 ‘over nights stays’ ( or more ) will be eligible for tax deduction. The government does not recognize half days. This usually means each parents could be eligible every other year

Beatandtired wrote:I've got 50/50 shared placement and shared custody am I still considered the "Non custodial parent"
in the eyes of the Child-Support agency the one ordered to pay CS is considered non-custodial.

* edited to correct typo on the number of overnight stays.


I don't believe this is true, but my state might be different. Even if I had primary physical custody of my sons (she gets every other weekend and two weeks in summer), I'd still be paying her support. However, I've got 50/50 on a week on/week off schedule. Not divorced yet, but there is nothing in the temporary orders spelling that out.

I wouldn't get too wrapped around the axle about who has residential custody when you have 50/50 physical custody.

Here is what irs.gov says

"Requirements.
You may be able to file as head of household if you meet all the following requirements.

•You are unmarried or "considered unmarried" on the last day of the year.

•You paid more than half the cost of keeping up a home for the year.

•A "qualifying person" lived with you in the home for more than half the year (except for temporary absences, such as school). However, if the "qualifying person" is your dependent parent, he or she doesn’t have to live with you. See Special rule for parent , later, under Qualifying person."

This would mean that I would always file with my kids, but I'm sure the final order will state she can claim one of the kids.
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Re: I've got 50/50 shared placement and custody am I still ?

Unread postby TeflonDad » Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:56 am

Ah, that old chestnut. There are several different parties/agencies that have different interests and definitions in what "primary custody" or "custodial parent" means.

1. Avoid any language except if required by state statute that references "primary" vs "secondary" parent or custody. That immediately imposes a "less than" bias on the "secondary" or "non-Primary" parent. Use "custodial parent" and "non-custodial parent" instead ONLY for determining who pays child support. Always use SHARED PARENTING as your first choice, "joint" or "equal" as your next choices, and only use "custody" where it is absolutely legally required.

2. Declare a "residential address of the child" to be that of "father" or "mother", SOLELY for the purposes of determining school district and state or federal government requirements for the child's address of residence. (see tax exception to this below) This means the address on the child's driver's license, tax filings, hunting license, voting registration, etc. They serve to establish jurisdiction for the child in those matters. It is what it is. Note that I did not include general "government", financial or other requirements for the child's address. That means you can open a local bank account with your address, get a library card, gym membership, the kids' paychecks all list your address, etc. and not be in conflict with the orders as written. Though the child will need to put their "residential address" in the order on their state and federal W-4s and such if they get a job. See the note below about taxes and claiming the child exemption.

3. Make sure that any school registration includes a secondary (ignore the term here, you just don't want it in your parenting orders) parent information for you and that you also have your own list of "emergency contacts". If the school only has one emergency contact list for the child, make sure that the other parent is on it first, then fill it up with your choices including replacing whomever the ex decides to put on there to play keep-away with _your_ kids if they're in an emergency (or insist, as the child's parent, that the school update _your_ child's emergency contact list as _you_ instruct them to).

4. Make sure you put it in writing that both parents retain FULL JOINT AND EQUAL PARENTAL RIGHTS in the exercise of ALL medical, legal, and educational decision-making rights. That takes some getting used to, but it means that both of you have unilateral right to make those kinds of decisions on behalf of your child. That goes to the point above, in that you have the right, as the parent with educational decision-making custodial rights for your child, to instruct the school on who is on the emergency contact list and who isn't.

The same for signing the kid up for classes during registration. Legally, the school has to follow your instruction. They also have to follow the ex's instructions too. So if the ex shows up ten minutes later and reverses your changes, they will have to do that. If it comes to that, the school will hate you both for putting them in the middle of the back and forth. I just "check up" with the school a few weeks before and after registration to make sure things are as they should be for my information and what I want for my child. This is also why you don't want the words "secondary" anwywhere near this in your orders. The school will probably want a copy of your orders. ProTip: Tell them you will get right on that. They do it only for a CYA for themselves. It's not a court order or subpoena - it's a school asking for CYA for them and ammo to tell you to go away. So don't volunteer the information in the first place. GIve an excuse, "I forgot", and drag it out until they stop asking or you really need to cough up the orders (redact all the non-relevant parts!) to keep your kid enrolled or if the ex gives them instructions to bar you from access or remove your parent information.

On the medical front, it means you can take your daughter to get birth control or any other medical procedure if you want to. Keep in mind, so can your ex.

You can take the kids to the doctor and pick up their prescriptions, authorize flu shots, waivers for participating in sports and such. There are plenty of places where you can demonstrate your PARENTAL RIGHTS to approve or decide things for your kids, that aren't absolute "custodial parent only" nonsense you hear from the misandrists.

Always be the better parent and make sure that the ex can also pick up the kids prescriptions if they need to. The ex will be who she is, so don't get worked up she's not as good a parent as you. That's part of getting a divorce - you parent differently. Just don't put your kids health at risk because of it.




5. The tax clause. If you have 50/50, the reality is that the IRS won't audit your calendar showing which days your kid slept where. So just spell it out in your settlement/orders. If you have more than one kid, great! You split the child dependency exemptions AND you BOTH can claim Head of Household. The parenting time is 50/50. So don't bother counting, just agree in advance. The ex gets Child A, you get Child B. Let her have the oldest child. You get the employer childcare FSA benefits for more years that way (until the kid turns 14. It covers all "work-related childcare" - summer day camps while you work count).

If you have one kid, you alternate years. Spell out who gets even-numbered years, and who gets odd-numbered years. Basically you're both agreeing that "nobody remembers where Little Johnny slept each night", so we just agree that this is what the outcome will be in advance (as in adjusting your schedules to meet the 183 overnights rule - per your "the following parenting schedule applies UNLESS OTHERWISE AGREED TO BY THE PARENTS" clause in your parenting orders).

Spell out what happens when each child is no longer eligible to be claimed as a dependent. As in the other parent loses an exemption to replace the one "aged out". When I am no longer paying child support for my oldest or he files his own taxes, my exemption for my youngest ends and the ex will claim it from that point forward.

Use the search to find some of my posts from around 2008-2010 to find my exact wording. I'm in Missouri. PM me if you want more details.
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