Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

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Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby Rssooner » Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:33 pm

Hello Everyone

I am battling in my head about whether I should help pay half for after school activities. We share 50/50 custody but my ex has primary residence and I pay her A LOT of child support for our S9 and he definitely doesn't come close to costing that much per month to take care of. (Live in TX so formula is used based on both incomes) Isn't this the very reason I pay CS in the first place? Here are my thoughts:

1. I don't want to cause a lot of friction but I also don't want to start a precedent for the next 9 plus years.
2. Am I just being cheap and trying to get back at ex?
3. By taking a stand, am I doing what's not in the best interest of my son.
4. Anything else I'm not thinking of?

What's your vote? 1,2, 3 or 4?

Thanks for the input.

RS
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby BartSimpson » Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:39 pm

What are the activities?

Do you have language in the decree to agree on activities before signing the child up?
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby gamingdad » Fri Nov 10, 2017 12:46 pm

Do the activities also occur on your time?
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby Rssooner » Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:20 pm

BartSimpson wrote:What are the activities?

Do you have language in the decree to agree on activities before signing the child up?



It does...i guess if i would of looked at my decree in the first place I wouldn't of wasted your time..

Sorry, my bad.
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby hoot74 » Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:33 pm

Rssooner wrote:
BartSimpson wrote:What are the activities?

Do you have language in the decree to agree on activities before signing the child up?



It does...i guess if i would of looked at my decree in the first place I wouldn't of wasted your time..

Sorry, my bad.

What is your bad? How does this answer your question?
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby massdad1234 » Fri Nov 10, 2017 4:22 pm

sounds like you should split the costs 50/50. How/where she gets the money is irrelevant. If you're asking if you can use a portion of the child support to count towards activities, you're going to drive yourself mad.
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby FlyGuySLO » Fri Nov 10, 2017 8:17 pm

It depends on the language in your decree.

Mine says that:

- We are each obligated for 50% of unreimbursed medical expenses.

- All other expenses for extra curricular activities, school supplies, etc, need to be agreed upon at the discretion of each party in writing before the expense was incurred.

I had it worded this way to prevent her from just sending me a bill for "extras" each month, which was her habit. Though I have been very generous and agreeable in the past, I do have the right to agree or not to any expense I feel is unnecessary or unreasonable.
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby TJinCA » Tue Nov 14, 2017 6:00 pm

I think if I were in your position I'd look at it from the perspective of "If we were still married..."

If you were still married, do you think you'd agree with your wife that these are reasonable expenses for reasonable activities and that a portion of the marital income should be allocated to them?

If so, pony up your half and don't gripe. If not, if you think your ex is just trying to take advantage and screw you over by wasting money, then don't pay but make sure your son knows it's not a reflection on him.
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Wed Nov 15, 2017 12:04 am

Rssooner wrote:Live in TX so formula is used based on both incomes.
Are you sure??
Last I heard, TX was NOT an income shares state. In other words, child support is based upon Obligor's income alone.

Rssooner wrote:4. Anything else I'm not thinking of?
Think: "Bargaining chips." And paying for activities is a bargaining chip.

Q: Depending upon the activity, if you pay 50% of activity cost, what will you get of significance in return??
Suggestion: How 'bout more (50/50) parenting time??

Tom
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby TJinCA » Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:33 am

From an online article, things that are not considered to be covered by child support according to Texas Family Code:

For younger children:

Daycare
Afterschool care
Nannies or babysitters

For school-age children, extracurricular activities including:

School photos, yearbooks
Registration, uniforms, equipment and fees of sports
Select sports, traveling teams, club teams
Private lessons, i.e., music, voice, dance, tennis
Musical instruments rental or purchase fees
Recital fees, costumes
Enrichment camps
Academic tutoring

Later in life high school and post-high school ventures:

Your child’s first car; car insurance
College funds
Wedding funds


So those things should be considered optional, to be paid by mutual agreement between the parents. And again, in my opinion whether it should be paid or not and who pays what should be primarily focused on the child, not on the impact to either parent. The benefit you get from paying for your kid to play club soccer or learn the piano is that your kid gets to play club soccer or play piano. Impact on mom is not relevant and I disagree that you should be using your kid's well-being as a bargaining chip.
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