Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby lionel2013 » Wed Nov 15, 2017 2:01 pm

- All other expenses for extra curricular activities, school supplies, etc, need to be agreed upon at the discretion of each party in writing before the expense was incurred.


^
^
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That.

Do you have that in your decree?
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby TJinCA » Wed Nov 15, 2017 4:04 pm

Tom Kirkpatrick wrote:
TJinCA wrote:.....and I disagree that you should be using your kid's well-being as a bargaining chip.
With OP in TX, chances are he has Expanded Standard; and his ex gets all the benefits.

With Expanded Standard as an assumption, OP should use whatever means available to garner more parenting time; or perhaps some other benefit that parents in intact families typically take for granted, like sharing tax deductions in even vs odd numbered years.


OP stated in his original post that he already had 50/50. Should he be bargaining for more than 50%? On what basis?
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby LovingDadof2 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 7:22 am

I think OP knew the answer before he posted the question.

Forget your Ex and think of your child. Do they really want to do the activity and do you support it during your parenting time? If the answer is yes to both, then simply pay your share. Now go enjoy your child's joy doing the activity.

Forget about what she does with he CS money. Your worrying about something you have no control over. Focus on what you can control.
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby massdad1234 » Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:55 am

all good advice here by the cavalry.

OP - how has your year of peace been going?
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Nov 16, 2017 2:16 pm

TJinCA wrote:OP stated in his original post that he already had 50/50.
I stand corrected. That'll teach me to do my reading more carefully. LOL

TJinCA wrote:Should he be bargaining for more than 50%? On what basis?
In terms of bargaining chips, there's gotta be some concession OP could, and IMHO should, ask for.

Rssooner wrote:Isn't this the very reason I pay CS in the first place?.....I pay her A LOT of child support for our S9.....
Since TX statute doesn't have specific language for 50/50 placement or 50/50 child support, I can only conclude that you must've agreed to terms and conditions of your decree outside of court. If this is what you agreed to, then you've got nothing to complain about.

Rule of thumb = Be careful what you agree to.

Do you have language in the decree to agree on activities before signing the child up?

It does...I guess if I would of looked at my decree in the first place.....
It sounds like mother is abiding by terms and conditions of the very decree you agreed to. And even if activities are something of a "blank check," it's incumbent upon you to abide by the terms and conditions written therein. Just make sure you pay the activity provider directly, not your ex.

Q: In terms of activities, who has final say??

Tom
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby grandet2 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 11:36 am

My ex tries to bully me into paying these, her claim is that "these are necessary things and I should pay half"
When I ask for the same she says no and says that is an optional item, like piano lessons, tennis lessons.
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Nov 17, 2017 12:23 pm

grandet2 wrote:My ex tries to bully me into paying these, her claim is that "these are necessary things and I should pay half"
When I ask for the same she says no and says that is an optional item, like piano lessons, tennis lessons.
Yep!! That's how it works. Mandatory for you. Optional for her. It's called entitlement.

Tom
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Re: Should I pay half of extracurricular activities

Unread postby Rssooner » Sat Nov 18, 2017 9:35 am

Hi everyone...OP here. Thanks to everyone for replying. I truly appreciate it.

The decree states that we split agreed upon activities 50/50. I am perfectly fine splitting things that my son wants to do and not get into a pissing match with my ex.

For me it's not about depriving my son or using this for leverage against ex. I just need to get past the fact that my ex didn't work, didn't take care of the home, etc while I went out and busted my butt to provide. Now I give her $1200/month in C.S. and alimony plus some of my retirement, savings, etc. It is just something that i will deal with and in pass in time.

Thanks again

RS
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