Court threats

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Court threats

Unread postby ohsnap » Thu Apr 20, 2017 10:08 pm

Just curious. I've been divorced about 2 years and mom consistently makes threats about filing whatever motions because she isn't getting her way or angry about something. I'd say it happens weekly on average. My standard response is see ya in court.

Any others here experience this? I thought maybe since time has passed things would calm down and the bogus threats would fade away.
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Re: Court threats

Unread postby Caruzzo » Thu Apr 20, 2017 10:38 pm

"Yeah, probably a good time to address child support too, NJ, since my income is continually fluctuating. May be a good time to address a slew of issues actually. Good idea, thanks for bringing it up!"

In the alternative, radio silence is probably a much better choice.
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Re: Court threats

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Thu Apr 20, 2017 10:43 pm

ohsnap wrote:My standard response is see ya in court.
Your standard response should be one of two:

1) Radio silence.

2) "That sounds important. Send me an email."

ohsnap wrote:I thought maybe since time has passed things would calm down and the bogus threats would fade away.
You thought wrong. That's why it's important to reduce all communication to email.

Tom
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Re: Court threats

Unread postby Trevor » Fri Apr 21, 2017 5:21 am

Two people can't dance if one of them sits it out. Stop engaging. After a while, even the dumbest dog will get the idea that you're not going to throw the stick.
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Re: Court threats

Unread postby Havalu7 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 10:43 am

I have a new term for the forum "Trevbrevity".

I need to attain the skill that Trevor and others have of a one floor elevator pitch in one to two sentences.

Awesome!
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Re: Court threats

Unread postby spritom » Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:13 pm

ohsnap wrote:Any others here experience this? I thought maybe since time has passed things would calm down and the bogus threats would fade away.


Got that legal threat a week ago.
NJ was PO'd because I didn't email her back fast enough for a thing that takes place 3 months from now. She may file a motion...who knows.
NJ got radio silence on her legal threat, but I saved the email as I'm thinking taking an extra couple days to reply to an email is not considered a significant change of circumstance.

As for fading away...yes, it's quite common for the calm-down and fade-away over the years.
But in a minority of cases, it doesn't fade away.
In my case, it's been 10 years. No fade.
I know of two other cases where the Ex (both female in these instances) were so bitter that they couldn't even hold a conversation with a stranger without spewing about the divorce and their Ex. And these two cases were when they had been divorced for 30+ and 40+ years respectively and their Ex's had even passed away already.
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Re: Court threats

Unread postby Tom Kirkpatrick » Fri Apr 21, 2017 1:24 pm

spritom wrote:.....and their Ex's had even passed away already.
In this game, even the dead have no peace. There's nothing like a vengeful ex.

Tom
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Re: Court threats

Unread postby lionel2013 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 2:04 pm

My X is the one who filed, who wanted the divorce in order to attain her "happiness", to implement her "plan".

It's been four years since she moved out, three years since the divorce was final, almost three years since she moved far away, also part of her plan, and still quite often we simply cannot have a calm conversation on a number of subjects. I think part of the reason for that is that an important piece of the puzzle did not work out for her (her Mr. W., round whom she's built this entire plan, dumped her two years ago), and she is bitter about it. The latest straw in a string of failures (first failed marriage getting dumped after only two years, our marriage on which she quit, then a third relationship, which she put a lot of effort in, failed / getting dumped again). So that a lot of failures over a long period of time.

But the other part of it is simply that is just the way she is - we call them NJ's for a reason.
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Re: Court threats

Unread postby ForumVenter 1 » Fri Apr 21, 2017 2:47 pm

Threats are just that. Just be ready if Ex ever acts on it.

Before court was involved, Ex(gf) threatened me often that she would take D from me and get thousands in child support. I cowered like an abused puppy and catered to whatever her demands were at the time. Then one day, she acted upon her threat. Moved my D away. I got court involved and now I am the school parent while she lives 800mi away.

2yrs since the court order, per others, she still badmouths me or posts whatever on social media. She is married with another child, and expecting another child any day now. But still very bitter toward me because "I took a child away from her mother." I could care less. Because I am too busy meeting my D for lunch at her school. Or coaching her sports teams. Or helping her with homework or learning to tell time, count money, read books, etc.

Radio silence and DGAF attitude. That's free advice, but worth a lot!


If folks don't get their way on certain things, there will always be bitterness.
OH - Residential parent of D after a long distance move by Ex. If your child(ren) aren't a priority, you will have no chance at gaining custody.
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Re: Court threats

Unread postby ohsnap » Fri Apr 21, 2017 7:37 pm

We are 99% email only. The only time we talk is in a parking lot of one of the kids' sporting events and we are exchanging equipment.
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