She's already not paying mortgage

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: She's already not paying mortgage

Unread postby Optimist630 » Fri Apr 14, 2017 9:38 pm

TOC - I have actually spoken to a lawyer about bankruptcy. I came out of the marriage with some debt, and I also have something from my past that has popped up (Old foreclosure related thing from the housing bubble burst). The plan was to protect the house due to it being worth more than is owed. My agreed upon amount isn't a fortune but isn't peanuts either. I did not want to be entangled with her, but it was my clearest path to a favorable settlement.

She is passive and hates conflict. I knew this in the divorce and used it to my advantage. I will need to be very firm on the house at some point I know. She actually did pay up and it is current it appears. But I know what's coming next February, no refinance and the sob story about how her three children live there full-time, and our daughter half the time.

I don't know all of my rights as far as sticking my nose in there to make sure he goes on the market.

She showed up to mediation with a ridiculously bogus market analysis, showing the house at a $25,000 loss currently. I had a market analysis done myself, without telling the guy anything other than that I may sell and I have it at a $75,000 profit. So she has already made one attempt to swindle me out of this home. It was pretty fun pulling out my own analysis at the mediation, however.
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Re: She's already not paying mortgage

Unread postby massdad1234 » Tue Apr 18, 2017 6:44 pm

you need to work on not giving a rip and disconnecting. You spend too much time thinking/concerning yourself on what she does.

did you not forsee this financial entanglement? If so, what was your approach and how has that been un/successful? Is it on schedule?

It appears you still have lots of anger/emotion built up over how things went down. Are you talking to a medical professional about that? What are you doing to make yourself into the person you always wanted to be?

Are you walking 30+ minutes 3x a week? You should add some physical activity in your life and look to lean on that when your emotions come back in full force.
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Re: She's already not paying mortgage

Unread postby Optimist630 » Sun Apr 23, 2017 11:47 pm

Another house issue. Do I have any ability to prevent major changes or alterations to the home since I have a financial stake? Or is this more of the "That's why you don't entangle yourself"?

I was told there was very little chance I could force her to sell right now is why I am in the situation. I leveraged "allowing" a little bit more time to get other things I wanted or needed.
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Re: She's already not paying mortgage

Unread postby massdad1234 » Mon Apr 24, 2017 4:03 am

This is why you don't have entanglements post divorce.

Curious, what did you give up?
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Re: She's already not paying mortgage

Unread postby Optimist630 » Mon Apr 24, 2017 10:57 am

I don't feel like I really gave up anything. Outside of the unfortunate fact that I see my child less. 50/50 plus ROFR means 70% time with me. I took a "YOU leave the house" stance so she felt she had to bargain for staying there.

She gave me everything I wanted. She has no assets to offset home equity. So she needs to buy me out. I did give her a full year rather than six months that a judge likely would give her. I wanted to give her a chance to simply refi and hand me a check. I'm sure the inevitable and is her telling me I'm mean for making them move out next winter when her year is up. Oh well.
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Re: She's already not paying mortgage

Unread postby massdad1234 » Mon Apr 24, 2017 2:11 pm

or she is dragging her feet as long as possible. If the equity is there, how hard can it be?
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