Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.


Unread postby huskerstate1 » Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:20 pm

OK, so I know this is a Men's Divorce Form and I am a Mom, however, before any of you get upset, I really do want to hear an opinion from a mans side of the divorce. I ask my now husband, but I am sure his opinions and answers a bit biased. I hope you will answer with thought and honesty.

My ex, in the custody agreement, gets our son every other weekend, certain holidays depending on the year, and 6 weeks during the summer. Pretty standard. However, we agreed early on that our son needed more time with him than that, so he also goes there on Wednesday nights. Last week, my now husband and I learned of a local Tae Kwon Do class and my son decided he wanted to try it. So he gets 4 "trial classes" for free. After the first one, he decided he loved it! The down fall is that class is on Mondays and Wednesdays. We learned that it is a come-as-you-can class, not mandatory. We discussed that with my son that Wednesdays might be out for him to go because that is his time with his dad as well as his dad living out of town.

Today, I mentioned the class to my ex, who then got upset with me for not giving him a heads up. Well, I didn't have much of one either but I can kind of see where he is coming from since it is a Monday. But it is also his birthday, so I didn't want him to feel like he had to spend that time in a Tau Kwon Do class that I sent my son to once, when he had other plans. I was doing my best to be respectful of his time. He may have sat through it with him but I didn't want him to feel obligated to do so since it is still just trial classes.

Anyway, my ex decided that since this class is on Wednesday, we would just switch days. Fine with me, however, the day he wants to switch to is the one day that my now husband, has the afternoon off to spend time with my son. They both enjoy this time very much and I don't want them to loose that. I asked my ex if he would considered another day. Is it wrong of me to ask this of him? I am trying to give my son time with both his father and his step-dad. I know that my son will be disappointed if he looses the time with his step-dad, and he is still getting the time with his dad, just a different day.

Opinions please. How would you feel about this?
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Re: Co-Parenting

Unread postby Chaos » Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:53 pm

Yeah, it is wrong. Out of five days, you've essentially given him two as an option. Your sons relationship with his father trumps his relationship with your husband. Give your ex the day he asked for.
If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
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Re: Co-Parenting

Unread postby BartSimpson » Mon Apr 10, 2017 9:57 pm

Ma'am, are you lost? This is the mens divorce forum - we are not here to serve you. You don't need our opinion at all, it is no different than any reasonable person male or female.

May I suggest you take your issue to the forums at, where your gender does not matter and you will receive the same opinions as you might here.

Thank you in advance for understanding, please exit through the Gift Shop.
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Re: Co-Parenting

Unread postby gamingdad » Mon Apr 10, 2017 10:52 pm

Get the ex here so we can start working with him on getting 50/50.
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Re: Co-Parenting

Unread postby Timeflies » Tue Apr 11, 2017 8:55 am

gamingdad wrote:Get the ex here so we can start working with him on getting 50/50.

Amen! I agree please tell the ex we have some advice to help him deal with you and get the time he deserves with his children.
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Re: Co-Parenting

Unread postby afc » Tue Apr 11, 2017 8:58 am

Relationship with dad outranks relationship with his mom's husband

and that's that.
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Re: Co-Parenting

Unread postby big guy » Tue Apr 11, 2017 9:29 am

If you go to a 50/50 arrangement, your son can do the class and your new husband will still have time with his stepson. There is no downside except possible loss of child support. You and your new husband get time together alone and more of a break from the weight of parenting and your ex will have the opportunity to be a bigger part of his son's life. Your son wins with more time with each of his parents. You both can do your other things when he is gone with the other parent.
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Re: Co-Parenting

Unread postby mnfarm » Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:29 am

Did dad move out of town after the divorce, or did mom move away with son?

How far apart (how many miles) do you live from dad?
Last edited by mnfarm on Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:34 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Co-Parenting

Unread postby dofb » Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:31 am

You are not asking about co-parenting, you are asking about how your ex would feel if you messed with him. Co-parenting is 50/50, not some new guy coming in and taking over dad duties for your ex and your ex compensating you for it.
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Re: Co-Parenting

Unread postby quantum » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:45 am

Your husband is nobody, nothing to your child. Imangine yourself in your ex's position before posting such a garb that too in dad's forum
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