So, What Now?

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby dofb » Tue Apr 11, 2017 11:57 am

massdad1234 wrote:you know what I think is over the top? Calling the cops on your baby momma when she is late for a pickup.


Why are you picking a fight? Reading your threads, other people would think you have been childish in your divorce as well. Stop judging others. We all have made mistakes.
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Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby iamthedad » Tue Apr 11, 2017 5:10 pm

Update:

The police officer and I talked again today. There is no evidence that I did what the NJ says I did - because it didn't happen, but the officer confirmed as much. He will also speak to my landlord who will confirm I was here. I now get to sit in limbo for "about a week" until the DA makes a decision, which the police officer all but confirmed will be no action.

He also suggested that, if in fact things fall that way, that I go after her for filing a false police report since, as he said, we have better things to do.

In the interim I'm going to be looking at installing a camera here to record my comings and goings.
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Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby Chasbo » Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:56 am

No wonder my town taxes are so high.

Sigh.


The lesson here is that when you do something horrible to someone, unless they are on a higher plain, they are going to do something horrible back to you.

But it can work in reverse also. Start treating your ex with respect and kindness and see what happens. Otherwise I guess video yourself 24/7 for the next few years, get an attorney on retainer.......


Pathetic.
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Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby steelmark » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:04 am

Timeflies wrote:If it was me I would get video surveillance installed. Not so much to prove I'm there but to protect from the unknowns that could come from the psychopath you had children with.


^^^ this.

I installed a system covering my driveway and front door (as recommended by the police to ward off a troublesome neighborhood kid).

It's absolutely made a difference and I do have peace of mind since some exchanges do take place at my house.
Prepare and execute to win by a thousand miles, just to be in position to win by an inch.
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Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:19 am

My security system paid for itself with the first couple of months.

Dropped a wad of cash getting out of the car.
Couldn't find it, reviewed footage.
Saw neighborhood kid pick it up and take it.
Downloaded to USB drive, went to kids home and retrieved cash.
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Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby MegaDad » Wed Apr 12, 2017 10:15 am

OP,

In regards to any action you should take in retaliation to your Ex, I would say let it lie. Do you think she would stop doing this sort of thing if she actually got pinched? Or would it just amp up the crazy even more because now she feels she has to "beat" you?

If you never let her know its bugs you, or has taken time out of your day, she will get the impression that it's having zero effect. Hopefully at that point she just lays off, because if she can't use these tactics to engage you.....well what's the point?
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Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby iamthedad » Wed Apr 12, 2017 1:55 pm

MegaDad wrote:OP,

In regards to any action you should take in retaliation to your Ex, I would say let it lie. Do you think she would stop doing this sort of thing if she actually got pinched? Or would it just amp up the crazy even more because now she feels she has to "beat" you?

If you never let her know its bugs you, or has taken time out of your day, she will get the impression that it's having zero effect. Hopefully at that point she just lays off, because if she can't use these tactics to engage you.....well what's the point?


I wish that were true. I do not engage. At all. Ever. Any emails I send are strictly informational and from the "I" perspective and rare. This upsets her, because she tries so hard to get me to get into it with her. I will not.

She has a history of this dating back to her childhood. She has accused every prominent man in her life, including her father (bogus accusations of sexual abuse). Her mother did the same. It is literally in her DNA. "Beating" me will always be her game, at any cost, including that of our kids. There is exactly zero concern for collateral damage.

As I told the police officer, I *do not* want any drama. I go 10 miles out of my way, twice a day when I have the kids, just to keep from driving down the road that connects to the road that eventually leads to the street where she lives. I carry the MP3 at all times.

Prior to the divorce, she called the police and had police reports created but told the police not to contact me - was adamant about that and it is documented in the reports. She is under the impression that our D11 will be legally allowed to pick a parent next year (not true) and it is my opinion that she is ramping up for that drama sometime next year.

This woman is extremely calculating, which is not to suggest "smart". Her mother did precisely the same to her father, so she's just following the family playbook.

I don't let her know I'm bugged by it. I haven't discussed with the kids, haven't communicated with her about it at all. I'm still radio silent and plan to continue to be, and that's part of the problem. Because I will not engage she will "force" me into action if she can.

I don't want to file reports and get tangled up in all that drama, but jeesh there must be something that can be done? The officer told me he was going to attempt to question her in such a way as to allow for the false police report charge. I could tell he was less than pleased and that he could see this whole thing is a bunch of <feces> on a stick.

Oh and I did purchase a camera for my home which will be pointed directly at my car so as to track my comings and goings in the future. It should arrive tomorrow.
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Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Apr 12, 2017 7:26 pm

Haha, feel free to point out any time in which I called the cops on my STBX over some petty ish.....i'll save you the trouble, you won't. Nice straw man by the way, but I think it says more about you than me. I stand by what I said, OP is calling the cops on his ex and then laments her crazy. Not only is that a complete waste of resources, but more than likely feeds directly into more conflict, especially involving the kids. But OP is powerless right? There is nothing else that can be done right? I also chuckle at the irony in which OP thinks his ex's frivolous attempts at involving law enforcement is met with disdain from the cops, yet they are somehow welcoming his frivolous attempts at involving law enforcement?

dofb wrote:Why are you picking a fight? Reading your threads, other people would think you have been childish in your divorce as well. Stop judging others. We all have made mistakes.
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Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby big guy » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:10 pm

Read this one: http://abcnews.go.com/US/obsessive-exs- ... d=26256346

She succeeded in getting him arrested three times and fired from his job at an insurance company, where he had worked for over 24 years. Blazejowski didn’t stop there. She targeted several others in Good’s life: colleagues, neighbors and even his new girlfriend’s landlord.
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Re: So, What Now?

Unread postby iamthedad » Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:25 pm

big guy wrote:Read this one: http://abcnews.go.com/US/obsessive-exs- ... d=26256346

She succeeded in getting him arrested three times and fired from his job at an insurance company, where he had worked for over 24 years. Blazejowski didn’t stop there. She targeted several others in Good’s life: colleagues, neighbors and even his new girlfriend’s landlord.


“It was total harassment,” Good said. “I did everything I could to stay away from her. She was one step ahead of me the whole time.”


My ex NJ is a bit more subtle than this person, but this rings true.
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