Driving on a donut

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Driving on a donut

Unread postby vlsora » Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:18 pm

Long time lurker, decided to finally post and get some opinions on a current issue I am having. Made it through the split up and getting a settlement without posting on here. (Lots of great advice that helped me)

I have a D3 and joint 50/50 in NV. Current issue, my ex has been driving around on a donut spare tire for over a month now. I first contacted her a week after noticing it, explaining that she needed to get it fixed. That those tires are not meant to be driven on over 55 MPH and that they are for getting you to the tire shop. It says right on the tire "TEMPORARY USE ONLY". I watched her get on the freeway after a custody exchange with my daughter going 70+ MPH. She replied to me that she was waiting for a warranty and had verified she was ok driving on it. I dropped it hoping the message got through and she was trying to save face and would have it fixed.

WRONG - So now it has been a full month and she has still not got it fixed. I messaged her again explaining that I was concerned she would have a blowout with my daughter in the car and that it was unacceptable. She replied saying thanks for the concern and that she had it under control.

Trying to be reasonable, but it has been a month now and it is getting frustrating. This is just one example of many that are starting to add up for me getting ready to go back to court to get primary. The main thing going in my favor is that I have had 70% custody time with my daughter so far this year. The reason being she is in a relationship with a married man and his wife and would rather go out than take care of her kid. They just all moved in with her, sister wife stuff.

Current plan based on speaking with two lawyers is to wait it out. Ideally they want 1 year with my having primary custody, but they think with the other stuff I could maybe win with 6 months.

Any advice on the tire situation and if my strategy sounds correct?

Thanks.
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby lionel2013 » Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:32 pm

Any advice on the tire situation and if my strategy sounds correct?


Tire situation: your X is obviously stupid [but then again you probably already knew that]. If I were you, I would just offer to buy her a new tire and replace it for her. The life and well-being of your daughter is worth well more than that, I'm sure you'd agree.

Not to disparage your X, cause mine is not that much smarter. About a month ago she came to the exchange point with S12 in the front passenger seat. I had to explain to her [remind her?] that S12 is not heavy enough to activate the airbag in case of a collision, and that, if he could activate it nonetheless, the airbag could hurt him badly upon deploying.

Change of custody: too soon, and you have zero ammo [nothing you have mention would amount to anything reasonable in court, the judge will laugh at you].
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby madalex » Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:35 pm

Next time you have your child, notify your Ex that you will not return the child until the tire is fixed. Do not tell her in advance that you are doing this, else you won't get your child.
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby vlsora » Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:45 pm

lionel2013 wrote:
Any advice on the tire situation and if my strategy sounds correct?


Tire situation: your X is obviously stupid [but then again you probably already knew that]. If I were you, I would just offer to buy her a new tire and replace it for her. The life and well-being of your daughter is worth well more than that, I'm sure you'd agree.

Not to disparage your X, cause mine is not that much smarter. About a month ago she came to the exchange point with S12 in the front passenger seat. I had to explain to her [remind her?] that S12 is not heavy enough to activate the airbag in case of a collision, and that, if he could activate it nonetheless, the airbag could hurt him badly upon deploying.

Change of custody: too soon, and you have zero ammo [nothing you have mention would amount to anything reasonable in court, the judge will laugh at you].


You are right, I did consider offering that. It just really pisses me off since I am already paying her plenty in child support. I do agree with what you said and it is probably the only non confrontational response that gets this resolved for my daughters safety quickly.
Last edited by vlsora on Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby vlsora » Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:46 pm

madalex wrote:Next time you have your child, notify your Ex that you will not return the child until the tire is fixed. Do not tell her in advance that you are doing this, else you won't get your child.


This was the nuclear option I had in mind. Just worried it would get me in trouble with the court by taking her time away? Can that be justified?
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby lionel2013 » Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:55 pm

vlsora wrote:
madalex wrote:Next time you have your child, notify your Ex that you will not return the child until the tire is fixed. Do not tell her in advance that you are doing this, else you won't get your child.


This was the nuclear option I had in mind. Just worried it would get me in trouble with the court by taking her time away? Can that be justified?


Actually that is not at all a bad idea. I highly doubt you'll get in trouble with the court since your primary concern is the safety of your child. Even better, once you make that obvious to your X I doubt she will have the balls to take you to court.

How much are you paying her in CS? Does she have a job?
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby vlsora » Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:04 pm

lionel2013 wrote:
vlsora wrote:
madalex wrote:Next time you have your child, notify your Ex that you will not return the child until the tire is fixed. Do not tell her in advance that you are doing this, else you won't get your child.


This was the nuclear option I had in mind. Just worried it would get me in trouble with the court by taking her time away? Can that be justified?


Actually that is not at all a bad idea. I highly doubt you'll get in trouble with the court since your primary concern is the safety of your child. Even better, once you make that obvious to your X I doubt she will have the balls to take you to court.

How much are you paying her in CS? Does she have a job?


Almost $1k a month in CS, she is a teacher... The CS formula in NV is based on differences in income with joint.

I would love to go this route, but might not be in my interest to upset her. My hope for primary hinges on her continuing to give me all that extra time with my daughter.
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby Fatheroffour » Tue Apr 04, 2017 4:17 pm

All this over a 50 dollar tire?

Personally, I'd have kept the kids in my care until she got it fixed. I would have even met her up at Juan's up the street and had him put her on a used one but I wouldn't put them in a car sporting a donut.

Setting boundaries early is important. My ex wouldn't even show up expecting me to give her the kids in that situation.
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby Californiakids » Wed Apr 05, 2017 1:35 am

Teacher huh? You don't say.
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby lovingfatherof2 » Wed Apr 05, 2017 6:55 am

vlsora wrote:I would love to go this route, but might not be in my interest to upset her. My hope for primary hinges on her continuing to give me all that extra time with my daughter.


Reminds me of my own case to get equal parenting time. I had to build a status quo.

There was a morning she called me and told me her car wouldn't start. After explaining what it was doing I knew it was just a dead battery. So I went to the parts store, grabbed a new battery and went over to her place and threw it in.

I wouldn't do that now but it worked like a charm at the time.
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