Driving on a donut

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby Chasbo » Wed Apr 05, 2017 8:52 am

I used to hope for situations like this.

Buy her a tire and arrange to have it put on. I treat my ex like a client. It's like buying a client a ticket to a ballgame. Part of the cost of doing business.

Lawyers cost $3-500/hour. A tire costs maybe $100. Think about what you can do with that goodwill.

Play the long game. Understand female psychology. It pays off.
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby MegaDad » Wed Apr 05, 2017 10:24 am

Of the two options presented, both have their pros and cons.

Just buying a tire would surely be the easiest option. Sure, it's a little money out of your pocket but if concern for your daughter is your main motivator here (and I know it is) then just say "F**k it" and buy the tire. Sometimes just throwing money at the problem is the best way to go. It's not like this would be setting some kind of precident either. You wouldn't suddenly be expected to help your Ex in this fashion regularly or anything.

Of course in the long term it could be beneficial to set those expectations early. I think the worst case scenario would be a firm lecture from a judge if you withholding your daughter ever even got in front of one. Best case is it lights a fire under her < hindquarters > to get the replacement tire. Your concerns are absolutely valid and while it may cause friction with the Ex, it's not like you need to care what she thinks of you anymore!

Personally I would just buy the tire, as I do not like to create conflict without a damn good reason, that's just me though.
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby JimRockford » Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:11 pm

During the separation, the ex's car had balding tires and she was going to drive 3 states away with my son to see Mr. W. She said that she did not have enough money for new tires but was going anyway. Tires for the car were over 300 each, I offered to buy the tires, she said yes, but responded with a catch. She wanted to involve both attorneys to craft a stipulation that the tires were a gift and that I could not ever seek reimbursement, nor would they count as income. Knowing her, I also knew that she would send it back and forth several times to raise fees and that the stipulation would end up costing as much as the tires.

I then called my brother, a long time tech who owns his own shop and is also very knowledgeable about high end tires. He told me that given the time of the year with no weather conditions expected, as long as the tires were just worn but the structure was not compromised, not to worry about it.

She then later asked about the stipulation, and I told her to forget it. The next day, she somehow had come up with a set of new tires on her own, and no Mr. W did not buy them.
Deciding to go forward with a divorce is kind of like joining a brotherhood. However, it is a brotherhood that you really don't want to join.
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Re: Driving on a donut

Unread postby massdad1234 » Wed Apr 05, 2017 8:58 pm

quid pro quo
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