massdad1234 wrote:you are part of the drama, the problem is your ex loves the drama too, so you two feed off each other. Grow up and put your children first. If she is late, document, be organized/prepared and then go home.
Instead you call the cops on her for being late. You realize we have to deal with that from the other side, you realize you're acting like our STBX's right?
I'm not defending my actions as anything other than following advice from others. I certainly do see how this feeds her need to have drama, however no action that I can take, for which I am aware anyway, will prevent this. I've just been trying to focus on doing my own thing and not sweating her 'personality'. Frankly, this is the first place I've seen or read not to call the police that I can think of. The police themselves have encouraged me to call rather than deal with her on my own.
I trust this place - people are hard core here, and I understand why. I'm doing all I know to do to separate from the drama. She regularly does all she can to entice it, and the more I push back and do not engage her, the more of this stuff she does, so I don't mind saying it often feels like ya can't win for losing.
We've been divorced going on 3 years. I knew this would never stop. The custody evaluator herself warned me that "this isn't over for you, I'm sorry to say." It's business as usual.
To be very clear, I do not enjoy calling the police, waiting for them to arrive, explaining to the kids again that ex is nowhere to be found, you get the idea. It's not fun for me, it is drama I do not want. Next time I'll get receipts - well, I always get one anyway when I arrive - and then I'll sit back and watch that grenade explode, but as long as I'm out of range of the fragmentation it makes no matter to me.