NJ Is No Longer Represented

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NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby iamthedad » Fri Mar 31, 2017 8:28 pm

And the drama just keeps on coming. So, divorced 2+ years with 50/50 s6 and d11 in CA. No questions - just some entertainment...

Ex opened up support case, found out I must pay the original amount based off 2 nights a week rather than my 50/50. Had to file paperwork with the court to get the 'latest' on record so I can go back to Child Support, re-run the numbers, and hopefully get it back to 50/50 amounts. So there's that drama...

Though the process I found the NJs attorney was breaking free - lack of payment I guess, seems maybe the equity in my former home finally ran out?

Anyway, the NJ is no longer represented, and wow but the cra cra is coming out! Had to call the popo on her last Friday because she didn't show up to pick up the kids - I have to do this every now and then. Her retaliation was to rake me over the coals about various things and then to concoct some 'stolen lunch box' story and that our D11 is being bullied at school and we must appear at the school with a 'collective front' to address the needs of our child...or something of the sort. No word from her in months and then she spits out 12 emails in less than a week, the last of which had an audio attachment of her trying to get my D11 to say why she won't just tell me about her lunch box...

D11 was speaking to NJ inappropriately, but then to address it I'd have to tell her that NJ was recording her without her knowing. My life sucks sometimes.

Anybody wanna see any of the emails? Oh my it's crazy time!
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby Trevor » Fri Mar 31, 2017 8:45 pm

iamthedad wrote:Had to call the popo on her last Friday because she didn't show up to pick up the kids - I have to do this every now and then.

This, on the surface, is stupid. Why are you doing it?
"Personal density is directly proportional to temporal bandwidth."
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby iamthedad » Fri Mar 31, 2017 9:30 pm

I'm there. She is not. She does not respond to texts or emails. Times are set and have been the same for 2+ years.

If just driving away is an option, for real, then I'd much rather just do that. I already know the police can't do anything, and I get a receipt from the McDonalds where we meet. It's just my way of establishing I was there and waited an hour.
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby a dad » Fri Mar 31, 2017 10:06 pm

That's why we suggest pick-ups from residences, when applicable.

That way you just play with kiddo at home instead of waiting at McDonalds.

If that becomes an option and you're headed back to court for anything, look to get it changed.
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby Trevor » Fri Mar 31, 2017 10:14 pm

Driving away is an option. Why wouldn't it be?

She fails to show, you've waited 30 minutes (eating, say) then you drive home until she decides she want the kid...at which point she has to drive to your house to pick up. You're well within reason and right to do this. She is an adult, accountable for her choices, and the cops don't care.
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby iamthedad » Fri Mar 31, 2017 10:22 pm

a dad wrote:That's why we suggest pick-ups from residences, when applicable.

That way you just play with kiddo at home instead of waiting at McDonalds.

If that becomes an option and you're headed back to court for anything, look to get it changed.


Well it certainly does look like I'm headed back to court. Part of this whole story is the TRO I gave her because her lawyer was good, mine was young, and I was stupid, expired 2/17. I've been expecting something.

Until this weekend any communication has been via email, and it has been rare. Very rare, which I like. Now the TRO expires, she no longer has any fear for her life whatsoever and here we are. I have no desire to be in her latest representation of herself, this time as co-parent of the year (while gleefully collecting more CS/SS than she should) All these emails she's sending all of a sudden, BCCing my own mother and sister and her own sister, none of whom have (or want) anything to do with the nonsense. It is typically bizarre in my opinion but while I didn't predict it, I am not surprised by it.
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby iamthedad » Fri Mar 31, 2017 10:26 pm

Trevor wrote:Driving away is an option. Why wouldn't it be?

She fails to show, you've waited 30 minutes (eating, say) then you drive home until she decides she want the kid...at which point she has to drive to your house to pick up. You're well within reason and right to do this. She is an adult, accountable for her choices, and the cops don't care.


Is a receipt showing I was there sufficient for the police (or Judge or whomever) who will most definitely get the call? If so then that is exactly what I'll do next time.
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby Trevor » Fri Mar 31, 2017 11:25 pm

Safest would be one receipt just before the scheduled exchange time and another ~30min later. A text upon arrival "I'm here" would be good too - if there is no response, well, she never acknowledged that you were ready for exchange. She is an adult and accountable for her action. Or inaction. How far away is the meeting place from your respective residences? Does she indicate at all her being en route or being tardy or is it just silence?

This may be enough to teach a dog to heel. Maybe not. But you're training her. Patience but consistency.
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby iamthedad » Sun Apr 02, 2017 6:22 pm

Trevor wrote:Safest would be one receipt just before the scheduled exchange time and another ~30min later. A text upon arrival "I'm here" would be good too - if there is no response, well, she never acknowledged that you were ready for exchange. She is an adult and accountable for her action. Or inaction. How far away is the meeting place from your respective residences? Does she indicate at all her being en route or being tardy or is it just silence?

This may be enough to teach a dog to heel. Maybe not. But you're training her. Patience but consistency.


The history is the exchanges have always been dramatic. She will park where her car cannot be seen. She will park 1/4 mile away and walk. Has friends peeking around corners. Lately brings her bf/renter/babysitter with her. The exchange is at the McDonalds so I go there and wait for her to appear. She is usually late 10-15 minutes. No big deal. In the past I would text her at a half hour but she never responded so I don't bother anymore. I just call the police.

And sometimes she's there on time. All I know for sure is that I always have a backup plan on exchanges so I can cover the kids if she doesn't show.

She lives maybe 1 mile from the McDonalds. I live across town - maybe 10 miles, and no, it's silence.
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby a dad » Wed Apr 05, 2017 1:57 am

If you're calling the cops when she's 30min late and you have the kids, you're adding to the drama you complain about.

Do your kids hear you call the cops on their mom?

Have you ever implemented this backup plan you're talking about?
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