NJ Is No Longer Represented

Your divorce and child custody agreements are final, get practical tips for moving on with your life after divorce.

Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby iamthedad » Thu Apr 06, 2017 1:51 pm

Fatheroffour wrote:
Frankly I'm uneasy with the curbside drop offs. A friend has recommended the same but it feels too close.

I've seen this a lot here over the years and it doesnt make sense to me. Dont want her at my house, always causes drama and so on.

My take on it is simple fear. Scared of her.

For that very reason I believe home is best. You can have your driveway and curbside lit up like a Christmas tree, covered by HD cameras being recorded with Dolby surround sound audio if you want. Time stamped and everything. You are at/in your home , totally protected and if there is drama to unfold there is the overwhelming legal presumption that she is the one that is causing trouble and must leave.

Home field advantage is a thing.

True, and it is for this reason other's have recommended the curb as the way to go. Back when there was a TRO I didn't want to be anywhere near her. I sure didn't want to drive by her place and give her an opportunity.

I could suggest it. She will balk however, because she's renting two rooms in the home and doesn't want me to find out since she's concerned about that income lowering her CS/SS. It could be a fun email exchange though...
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Re: NJ Is No Longer Represented

Unread postby AtticusFinch » Thu Apr 06, 2017 1:53 pm

For about 7 years after the divorce, I was the one exclusively shuttling my son back and forth between our residences.

I fed into mother's entitlement, through no one's fault but my own.

Finally, I got fed up with being the exclusive limo service and wrote mother a note: "When my parenting time follows pick up time, I will pick up our son at your residence; when your parenting time follows pick up time, you will pick him up at my residence."

I think there were one or two times after when she texted me "you need to bring him over to my house now" and I just responded "our son is ready for your pickup whenever you like" and radio silence after that.

It's kinda foolproof because you're not refusing her parenting time, quite the opposite, you're saying the child is available whenever they like.

I never minded if she was late because that meant more time spent with my son.

If you needed to go to work, I'd have a sitter on standby. Money well spent, IMO.

In terms of the mechanics of her pick up at my house, mother never entered my house and never will. Son just walked out my door into her car.

Same going the other way, son got out of the car and walked to mother's door. I waited to make sure he got in, just like I would a date.

Early on, I would go into her house, until a very ugly incident made me realize I could be putting myself in real legal danger by doing that. Came to my senses after that.
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